MusingInMyContemplation

dark was the night compilation

2009-04-07T21:13:00.000-07:00

one of the best compilations to come out in years

Curiosity

2009-03-15T16:28:00.000-07:00

What makes one a scientist, or a philosopher?

I think it's curiosity.

-- Post From My iPhone

birdsong

2009-02-27T08:25:00.000-08:00

i hope you can hear the birds singing in seattle

follow-up to "reasons i hate san diego"

2009-02-21T18:08:00.000-08:00

I have listed in a previous post a few of the many reasons I hate san diego. since then many things have changed: I am now nearing the completion of my M.S., I am working at a well-paying job that i love, and I have gotten to know the city much more.

My unhappiness being here in this city has increased.

There are times when i would rather be back in Kentucky than be here. i think the only thing that has kept me sane is that i've learned of a couple places that i really enjoy (and can now afford).

There are three things that I am going to add to the list of reasons I hate San Diego. I am doing this as a method of coping; yes, this city has set me into such depression that I need something to help me get by.

1) When I first started my new job, one of the first things that I loved about it was the fact that a couple of my coworkers read. Yes, you read correctly. I suddenly realized something I'd been missing when I said to one of them: "wow, I don't think I've had a single conversation with someone about books since I left Kentucky. Not one person in my graduate cohort has mentioned a book they were reading for fun." Nobody in my cohort (or at my job, for that matter) has heard of Bukowski. So this reason for hating San Diego is because reading is does not register on peoples' priority lists. Seattle, where I will move in September, is the most literate city in the country, has as a city landmark the central library (check out the pictures below), and has one of the highest-educated populations in the country. There is an alternative, San Diego.

2) I looked at locations advertised on a low-brow art web site (Juxtapoz) and found that Seattle has about 30. I looked and the Los Angeles area has probably 60. San Francisco has about 50. Just for curiosity, after I saw these numbers, I looked at San Diego. Three. Yes, three. As in the number 3. Honestly, as soon as I saw this I understood what I've been missing here. I've already been to all 3 of those galleries, and this is why I'm depressed here. My expectations were not met. At that point I turned my thoughts to my coworkers: is there anyone in my department-- nay, my company-- who I could converse with about art? No. I've tried: I tried striking up conversations about my trips to the Museum of Contemporary Art, I tried responding to their questions about contemporary art (I showed them Frank Stella and Yves Klein), and I've tried explaining the lack of art to them, and nobody understands or listens for very long. They (San Diegans) are simply not interested in art.

3) God, these weirdos. I'm sorry if you or someone you know are/is a San Diegan, but they are the weirdest people I've ever met! Blank stares, quick look-aways when you make eye contact, the "duuuuude" mentality, the eagerness to go surfing, the fright at the thought of walking a couple blocks, the satisfaction with chain stores, the desire to move out to the suburbs... so weird... Small minds. I've met full-grown native San Deigans who have been to Coronado two or three times. I've met full-grown native San Diegans who have never left the county and have no desire to whatsoever. One time when I remarked that I couldn't believe their lack of travel experience, they actually asked rhetorically, "why would I want to leave San Diego?".

4) Chain stores. I've never met a population so content with chain stores. I find that I am usually the one taking the San Diegans to locally-owned restaurants of which they've never heard. Actually, I'm usually the one educating San Diegans about their city in general. Not 'educating' in the condescending meaning of the word, but educating in the sense of exposing them to things they didn't know about this city: its history, culture, bars, restaurants, neighborhoods, and current events. But back to the point, this is chain-store country. Avoid anything north of the 8 (in particular Mission Valley), east of the 15 (except for City Heights's international areas), and south of J or K.

To a degree, "a city is what you make of it". But I moved here to go to progressive, quirky, environmentalist California (basically, as I understand it, north of Fresno). And I'm just so tired of living in places that I hate. I try with San Diego every day, and it just seems like this city doesn't allow it. The people who are comfortable here are people that were San Diegans before moving here- they love all these things I hate about it. And to those people, I wish them happiness and am glad they found a city they love.

For me, I think I'll move elsewhere and find happiness where it's not so elusive.

Orchestra

2009-02-15T16:01:00.001-08:00

I'm at the San diego youth symphony orchestra and I just met a true San Diegan. An emotionless, boring, mediocre man who replied with a blank stare when a friend introduced me as someone who took a Russian class with him. God I can't wait to leave this city.

-- Post From My iPhone

San Diego Girls

2009-02-13T14:54:00.000-08:00

The girls at my job drive up the fucking wall! They, like all other girls I've met in S.D., seem like they're trying to prove the stereotypes about air-headed southern californians. They all talk in falsetto over each other so that one listening to their conversation (if you can call it that) has no clue what was just said. And then they all laugh and jump right back into the babble where only the words "shoes", "boyfriend", and "mall" are discernible! It seems that they depart with more knowledge about each other, too! One of them once asked me how
San Diego is a unique city, and after quickly weighing the various alternatives, I said, "ummm the surfing culture". Ha.

God, save me from these morons.

On the other hand, I have a beautiful view of mission trails park from my office.

-- Post From My iPhone

observing

2009-02-11T20:00:00.000-08:00

lately i've been noticing that on my drive to work, i tend to be on a radio station while the commercials are on, but once the music starts, i move to the next station. weird... my mind just seems to wander while the commercials are going, but the music snaps me back to reality.

i wonder...

2009-02-10T12:13:00.003-08:00

i wonder if everyone thinks i'm as bad of a driver as i think they are?

this recession is good for us

2009-02-03T12:40:00.000-08:00

boy, this one seems like a hard one to defend.

let me start by saying that the shortage of jobs and education budget cuts is one manifestation of this recession immediately coming to mind that does not benefit us as a country.

however, i look around and can't help but think that a lot of the effects of a recession benefit us. one effect, for example, is termed "tightening the belt" (my point: i'm not sure how "tightening the belt" ever became a negative term).

1) efficiency. for the most part, we (speaking collectively as a nation) are forced to do just as much with less. low budget, but still need to provide services? maybe the raise for the CEO can wait a year. Unfortunately, this isn't what's happening; but at least these cases are making headline news. when a company now isn't efficient, we hear about the million-dollar office renovations on CNN. and i am finally hearing people complaining about heads of companies' salaries. my job just laid off people, and while i am incredibly disheartened by their loss and frightful of my own fate, our CEO at a company meeting recently said that we are now a "more efficient company". ha.

2) priorities. honestly, i don't think that the average upper-middle class american is suffering too much (unless they've lost their job). a coworker today was mentioning moving in with his girlfriend; they're going to get a 2-bedroom. the second room for their dog. another friend of mine "struggles" to pay his mortgage, but he hasn't applied for a job in months and recently bought 2 iphones, a "cheap" $600 hdtv, and 3 new laptops. once again, let me state my point clearly. if things get bad enough, waste comes to the forefront and people's priorities reorganize, putting them (in my opinion) in the right order. maybe i don't need a second room for a dog or maybe i can make do with only 2 brand-new laptops.

3) environmental. this works both ways: environmental preservation seems to take a back seat on that priority list during a recession, but it doesn't always. for instance, companies who can save money by recycling or reusing may consider that a viable option. gas prices, when they were sky-high, made people consider riding public transit more. most of all, the drive to consume slows, concomittantly reducing the usage of resources (i.e., new cars, plastic shopping bags, new subdivisions way-the-fuck out in the desert).

4) waste, waste, waste. this ties in with the above 3. when i think of my grandfather, who lived through the great depression, the first thing that comes to my mind is how much utilization he makes of everything. just try to throw away some of the food on your plate; he remembers when the amount you discard would feed a whole family. for a week. those bananas are moldy? well, i bought all 12 bunches of them for $.50, so you better pick off that mold and eat them quickly before they get worse. he doesn't throw away those used pickle jars- he reuses them. once again, my point: we currently think of that as strange, but i would like to see that become the norm again (well, maybe not the mold part). it kills me to see how much people throw away at every meal (in general, as well), and i think that when we are actually thankful for the meal we have that we won't treat it so lightly.

i think i could keep writing, but i have to get back to work. hopefully this will turn up on a google search and i'll get an ass-load of comments.

Last.fm milestone

2009-01-24T20:56:00.000-08:00

In case you can't see it, I've now reached 10,000 plays on my last.fm. Sweet! It's not like I didn't sign up for this thing like 2 years ago, and most of my "friends" have somewhere around 50,000. In my defense, most of the music I listen to (i.e., on my Zune) doesn't get added.

Sigh... back to work on my thesis.

nostalgic dreams

2009-01-03T12:07:00.000-08:00

when we came back, late, from the Hyacinth garden,
Your arms full, and your hair wet, I could not
Speak, and my eyes failed, I was neither
Living nor dead, and I knew nothing,
Looking into the heart of light, the silence.

---

i had another dream, but not about her. it was someone else, but still beautiful, and nobody will ever know. this one is leaving for italy. not that it matters, because i've already committed, and i always keep my promises. i think it's just that my mind wanders and wonders, idealizes and idolizes. yet i must tell someone, and that is why i write here: to launch my thoughts into the atmospheric labyrinth of the internet.

and now i go, to distract my mind, as i always do, in caffeine and liquor, or in books and music.

debate expectations

2008-10-06T12:16:00.001-07:00

from http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/horsey/viewbydate.asp?ID=1836

touch

2008-09-28T22:03:00.000-07:00

that simple, unexpected touch. when she, in passing, lightly grazes my back with her fingertips and perhaps scratches gently, warm flows of energy flow down my spine and remind me of everything that exists. in the words of john updike, an expected gift is not worth giving.

She’s Phyllis Schlafly, Only Younger by Gloria Steinem

2008-09-19T19:30:00.000-07:00

Here’s the good news: Women have become so politically powerful that even the anti-feminist right wing—the folks with a headlock on the Republican Party—are trying to appease the gender gap with a first-ever female vice president. We owe this to women— and to many men too—who have picketed, gone on hunger strikes or confronted violence at the polls so women can vote. We owe it to Shirley Chisholm, who first took the “white-male-only” sign off the White House, and to Hillary Rodham Clinton, who hung in there through ridicule and misogyny to win 18 million voters.

But here is even better news: It won’t work. This isn’t the first time a boss has picked an unqualified woman just because she agrees with him and opposes everything most other women want and need. Feminism has never been about getting a job for one woman. It’s about making life more fair for women everywhere. It’s not about a piece of the existing pie; there are too many of us for that. It’s about baking a new pie.

Selecting Sarah Palin, who was touted all summer by Rush Limbaugh, is no way to attract most women, including die-hard Clinton supporters. Palin shares nothing but a chromosome with Clinton. Her down-home, divisive and deceptive speech did nothing to cosmetize a Republican convention that has more than twice as many male delegates as female, a presidential candidate owned and operated by the right wing and a platform that opposes pretty much everything Clinton’s candidacy stood for—and that Barack Obama’s still does. To vote in protest for McCain/Palin would be like saying, “Somebody stole my shoes, so I’ll amputate my legs.”

This is not to beat up on Palin. I defend her right to be wrong, even on issues that matter most to me. I regret that people say she can’t do the job because she has children in need of care, especially if they wouldn’t say the same about a father. I get no pleasure from imagining her in the spotlight on national and foreign policy issues about which she has zero background, with one month to learn to compete with Senator Joe Biden’s 37 years’ experience.

Palin has been honest about what she doesn’t know. When asked last month about the vice presidency, she said, “I still can’t answer that question until someone answers for me: What is it exactly that the VP does every day?” When asked about Iraq, she said, “I haven’t really focused much on the war in Iraq.”

She was elected governor largely because the incumbent was unpopular, and she’s won over Alaskans mostly by using unprecedented oil wealth to give a $1,200 rebate to every resident. Now she is being praised by McCain’s campaign as a tax cutter, despite the fact that Alaska has no state income or sales tax. Perhaps McCain has opposed affirmative action for so long that he doesn’t know it’s about inviting more people to meet standards, not lowering them. Or perhaps McCain is following the Bush administration habit, as in the Justice Department, of putting a job candidate’s views on “God, guns and gays” ahead of competence. The difference is that McCain is filling a job one 72-year-old heartbeat away from the presidency.

So let’s be clear: The culprit is John McCain. He may have chosen Palin out of change-envy, or a belief that women can’t tell the difference between form and content, but the main motive was to please right-wing ideologues; the same ones who nixed anyone who is now or ever has been a supporter of reproductive freedom. If that were not the case, McCain could have chosen a woman who knows what a vice president does and who has thought about Iraq; someone like Texas Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison or Senator Olympia Snowe of Maine. McCain could have taken a baby step away from right-wing patriarchs who determine his actions, right down to opposing the Violence Against Women Act.

Palin’s value to those patriarchs is clear: She opposes just about every issue that women support by a majority or plurality. She believes that creationism should be taught in public schools but disbelieves global warming; she opposes gun control but supports government control of women’s wombs; she opposes stem cell research but approves “abstinence-only” programs, which increase unwanted births, sexually transmitted diseases and abortions; she tried to use taxpayers’ millions for a state program to shoot wolves from the air but didn’t spend enough money to fix a state school system with the lowest high-school graduation rate in the nation; she runs with a candidate who opposes the Fair Pay Act but she supports $500 million in subsidies for a natural gas pipeline across Alaska; she supports drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve, though even McCain has opted for the lesser evil of offshore drilling. She is Phyllis Schlafly, only younger.

I don’t doubt her sincerity. As a lifetime member of the National Rifle Association, she doesn’t just support killing animals from helicopters, she does it herself. She doesn’t just talk about increasing the use of fossil fuels but puts a coal-burning power plant in her own small town. She doesn’t just echo McCain’s pledge to criminalize abortion by overturning Roe vs. Wade, she says that if one of her daughters were impregnated by rape or incest, she should bear the child. She not only opposes reproductive freedom as a human right but implies that it dictates abortion, without saying that it also protects the right to have a child.

So far, the major new McCain supporter that Palin has attracted is James Dobson of Focus on the Family. Of course, for Dobson, “women are merely waiting for their husbands to assume leadership,” so he may be voting for Palin’s husband.

Being a hope-a-holic, however, I can see two long-term bipartisan gains from this contest.

Republicans may learn they can’t appeal to right-wing patriarchs and most women at the same time. A loss in November could cause the centrist majority of Republicans to take back their party, which was the first to support the Equal Rights Amendment and should be the last to want to invite government into the wombs of women.

And American women, more of whom may suffer because of having two full-time jobs than from any other single injustice, finally have support on a national stage from male leaders who know that women can’t be equal outside the home until men are equal in it. Barack Obama and Joe Biden are campaigning on their belief that men should be, can be and want to be at home for their children.

This could be huge.

life measures

2008-09-07T09:29:00.000-07:00

i realized last night as i was guzzling my favorite beer at my favorite bar, surrounded by familiar as well as new faces (still feeling somewhat lonely), that my life can be measured in semesters. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing, or even at all unique; it's just what i'm used to. it probably won't change, either, if i continue into academia.

at the beginning of these new academic years, i am filled with hope that maybe this year will be the year. the year when i put my inhibitions aside and actually enjoy others' company. is there a point when one has numbed themselves to disdain so much that they forget how to enjoy?: i don't think i've really, completely, overwhelmingly enjoyed someone else's company since i left the place i hated most in the world (ironically).

life measures: periods of time that define who you are. life measures: those instances when you realize you changed, for better or worse.

Earthquake on July 30th

2008-08-04T11:02:00.000-07:00

On July 30th, southern California experienced a 5.4 earthquake, the largest since 1987. Tales of horror and terror abounded immediately following the incident. Pictures began swirling around the national media, showing the obliteration, carnage, and utter destruction:

Says one 'personal trainer' of his experience in the quake: "The [exercise] mirrors were rippling all the way down. Seeing it in the mirrors was what made me realize, 'Geez, this is huge.'"

There were even reports of a broken water main and possibly a broken gas line. The governor of California quickly offered a press conference to discuss his own glory, but also mentioned the enormous tragedy experienced by all in his state. He said to the media, while briefly pausing his iPod, "I thank God there have not been any reports of serious injuries or damage to properties. People understandably are very nervous."

The San Diego Union Tribune, always the leader of quality journalism, reported that participants in CBS' show "Big Brother" even shouted “Oh my God, this is so scary!”

The moral that most of the press is extracting from all these stories is that we in SoCal should always be prepared for these monstrous earthquakes that cause such extensive structural damage and psychological trauma. Yes, this earthquake has disturbed us all, and we should always be watching our backs for "The Big One" (an earthquake greater than a 5.4), which has scheduled an appointment with the Governor for sometime next year. My sympathies go out to all who suffered so greatly.

Job update

2008-08-03T17:52:00.000-07:00

You know that job that I was frustratingly fretting for in an earlier post? Well, I got a call on Friday- the job is mine! Starting August 14, I will return to the game as a GIS Specialist. Now, how to tell my other job that I'm giving a 4-day notice?

Halcyon Tea, a tea shop set to open in South Park very soon, promises to make my temporary stay in San Diego much more enjoyable. Let's hope they open up soon! I suggest all my readers visit their regularly updated blog to get a sense of what real tea is, what real tea culture is, and everything great there is about tea.

random thoughts

2008-07-30T16:02:00.000-07:00

a text I received today from my mom, who is looking for an apartment on craigslist.com: "What does 420-friendly mean?".

my fortune from my chinese lunch cookie: "You enjoy playing in competitive sports". can i have another fortune, please?

i wonder what would happen if in San Diego, like Beijing, cars were restricted in downtown for a month. would i have to elbow-shove more bicyclists on my way to work?

my thesis survey just came down, and I'm looking at people's descriptions of San Diego neighborhoods. one guy described Miramar Ranch (an incredibly wealthy area) as: "walls, cars, horrible, heinous, false, disgusting, sick people, fire is good, burn it down, gag, hatred", and another described nearby Via De La Valle as: "lonely, fear, white people".

if someone who you think had a major crush on you at some point starts dating someone who looks exactly like you, is this sometimes more than coincidence?

tim hecker obviously believes in god, because he makes music that sounds as if some enormous deity is descending through the clouds bringing thunderous redemptive white light. listen to his cd.

and three updates: bought 2 tickets to russia for this november. better start buying scarves. second, i'll supposedly hear from the job conclusively tomorrow. and third, i'm taking the gre again september 6th. wish me luck!

Work emails

2008-07-17T10:43:00.000-07:00

I just got an email forwarded to me that says I'm the "top intern". Fuck.

Maybe I should refer them to today's post #4.

To the social networking sites

2008-07-17T10:13:00.000-07:00

To the social networking sites like Facebook, Myspace, Last.FM, Okrut, Yelp, etc.:

Thank you. Thank you for causing me to lose countless hours of my life in the vain hope that someone who has seen my "exposed self" will like it and add me to their buddy list, kind of like walking up to a stranger in elementary school and asking them to be your friend.

Thank you for decieving me. Thank you for leading me to believe that someone who has different musical tastes than me is someone I should avoid like the cancer.

Thank you for the eye candy. Thank you for making all the ugly chicks so hot that I wanted to actually add them to said buddy list.

Thank you for the truth. I looked that girl, my student, up on you and saw her taking all those shots, and realized that she wasn't the non-native-English-speaker that she wrote like. She got a C, by the way.

Thank you for steering me clear of danger. I almost got that job, but those pictures of me taking the shots and drunkenly peeing on the outside door handle caused the interviewers to hire that other guy. Poor loser.

In conclusion, I believe my generation owes you a debt of gratitude. They do not understand the wonderful impact you have had upon our lives, and we will now rest easily knowing we remain in your care. Thank you once again.

Sincerely,
Ryan

Why am I posting so much today?

2008-07-17T10:10:00.000-07:00

Because I'm trying to waste enough time at work that they'll fire me.

my favorite quote. ever.

2008-07-17T09:03:00.001-07:00

Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.

terrorism

2008-07-17T08:58:00.000-07:00

From a blog I stumbled upon today. He was quoting Overblown: How Politicians and the Terrorism Industry Inflate National Security Threats, and Why We Believe Them by John Mueller. Going down on my list of future reads:

For all the attention it evokes, terrorism, in reasonable context, actually causes rather little damage, and the likelihood that any individual will become a victim in most places is microscopic. Those adept at hyperbole like to proclaim that we live in "the age of terror." However, the number of people worldwide who die as a result of international terrorism is generally a few hundred a year, tiny compared to the numbers who die in most civil wars or from automobile accidents. In fact, until 2001 far fewer Americans were killed in any grouping of years by all forms of international terrorism than were killed by lightning. And except for 2001, virtually none of these terrorist deaths occurred within the United States itself. Indeed, outside of 2001, fewer people have been killed in America by international terrorism than have drowned in toilets or have died from bee stings.

wondering

2008-07-17T08:26:00.000-07:00

is this master's degree going to enable me to do more than push the space bar all day as a fucking intern? And...... is this master's degree going to enable me to do anything? And....... what's the point of trying so hard in and out of school if it's not going to get you an entry level position?

And......
i want to know who the hell got that job over me!

And..... why the hell do people think $200 for any phone is cheap?!?! i actually know some of the morons who paid $500 for the first version.

And....
is my email working? i've sent no less than 12 emails and nobody's replying.

mass confusion!

argh

2008-07-08T07:43:00.000-07:00

1. Due process/legal process
2. Human rights
3. The environment
4. Science
5. Education
6. Separation of church & state.
7. Habeas corpus
8. The U.S.'s international image

All things that have gone out the window during Bush's regime rule.

Gas prices

2008-07-02T12:25:00.000-07:00

They aren't so bad. They're making us do things (or not do things) that we should have already been doing (or shouldn't have been doing). Here's a list of silver linings in the clouds from CNN/Time. Some aren't really a good thing, though. Like more cops. Great. Well, see the full descriptions of each point by clicking on the link.

From http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1819594_1819592,00.html

10 Things You Can Like About $4 Gas

The world had long assumed that Americans were just unrepentant energy pigs. If gas prices went up, well, we kept our Explorers aimed at the horizon, and little changed. We truthfully didn't have lots of options. Unlike Europeans, we didn't have jobs we could bike to or convenient public transit. Gasoline prices never stayed high enough long enough to force those kinds of shifts in how we lived.

Now here we are. Gas prices are near $4 per gal., as no one needs to tell you, and they are likely to stay that way. Most of us still don't have the alternatives we need to adapt

with grace, which means that many will adapt just by suffering. We will run out of gas on I-80, ease our minivans over to the shoulder and tell the kids everything is O.K. We'll fall behind on Visa bills to pay for gas so we can buy food made ever more expensive by energy costs.

But it's also true that Americans are finding options where there seemed to be none. They're ready to change — and waiting for their infrastructure to catch up. They are driving to commuter-rail lines only to find there are no parking spots left. They are running fewer errands and dumping their SUVs. Public-transit use is at a 50-year high. Gas purchases are down 2% to 3%. And all those changes bring secondary, hard-earned benefits.

"You suddenly are reminded how the economy works," says Eric Roston, author of a new book about energy, The Carbon Age. "Nobody wants high prices for oil. But there's also no faster mechanism to change behavior." The suffering will go on. But the story, like any good tragedy, is not without redemption.

1. Globalized Jobs Return Home

2. [Urban] Sprawl Stalls

3. Four-Day Workweeks

4. Less Pollution

5. More Frugality

6. Fewer Traffic Deaths

7. Cheaper Insurance

8. Less Traffic

9. More Cops on the Beat

10. Less Obesity

movie review: 300

2008-06-30T10:58:00.000-07:00

I constantly remain a bit behind on the current movie scene for two reasons: because I enjoy catching up on classic films (negating any extra time I had for current movies), and because most movies today (excepting foreign and indie films) lack the charisma, charm, and creativity of their more senior counterparts. However, this weekend I watched 300 and thought it deserved a critique.

In terms of its political agenda, be warned that it was clearly made by a republican. This does not automatically disqualify it from my liking, however. In fact, republicans often, of course, have good things to say. But I digress. Patriotism is a core theme in this movie, from the senseless killing of messengers to the blind buttresses of both the bodies of the soldiers and the bodies of the defeated in attempt to "defend the homeland". Second point: the post-structuralists and feminists out there, other-izing also formulates much of the atmosphere and ideological standpoint of 300. The Spartans are portrayed as fierce, battle-hungry people with a strange aura of normality, while the invading Persians are strange, mystical, illogical, and epitomize "otherness" to the Spartans. Another point: I thought it was a joke at first, but in this movie the characters actually said things like "freedom isn't free" and "we are free men fighting against the oppressed and the tyrants". Umm... sounds familiar, right?

In terms of its quality as a movie, there are three things which sincerely bothered me from the outset: the cinematography, the anachronistic dialogue, and the melodramatic acting. First, let's face it: according to this movie, Sparta's weather sucks. I don't recall actually seeing the sun or the sky once. Just murky, dark rainclouds that only seem to release their moisture once. Of course, one could argue that this adds to the feeling of the movie, but it simply makes the audience long for the conclusion of the movie. This, added to the incredible amount of make-up to simulate the filthiness of not having bathed for months, seemed to be over the top. Second, the dialogue was written well, except in a couple places. However, nothing really makes me feel that these are real people instead of actors trying to portray something. For instance: for some reason they felt it necessary to send Xerxes' voice through a voicebox to make it seem scary, and he still only says things like "I am kind"- five times. The dialogue even becomes anachronistic when the soldiers call the war general "sire"- a term which is British, and didn't even appear until the middle ages. And then all the stuff about free men and freedom and patriotism and all that junk.... Third, the actors are at times so incredibly melodramatic that it becomes laughable. The manner in which they interact, their facial expressions, the over-the-top battle scenes (such as a launch off the general's back, just to kill one opposing frontman), need I continue? After a while we find ourselves saying "coooome ooooooooon".

I gave this movie 3/5 stars because it was very entertaining, the writing was mediocre (not bad), and the special effects were superb.

gaiwan

2008-06-22T09:20:00.000-07:00

for those of you who don't know, this is a gaiwan. the tea leaves are loose inside, and you pour the tea from this into a pitcher, and then to your cup.

update

2008-06-22T08:31:00.000-07:00

Well, I've turned into quite the boring blogger. My last post was May 5 to tell you about a burrito, and that was nearly 2 months ago! So here's the post that of course you've been wanting.

First of all, I can't figure out what's wrong with either (1) my resumé or (2) the way I'm presenting myself to potential employers. You see, I'm stuck in a low-level, dead-end, non-related (to my studies) internship working with coworkers who don't know the difference between "Asia" and "Vietnam", between Salvadore Dalí and children's finger-painting. They refuse to move more than 2 blocks without driving, and believe that they are being efficient when they only make one trip to headquarters (instead of multiple because they forgot something).

But I've applied to many open jobs, with no responses. None! I even sent my resumé to a friend who was asking her friends to fill an open temporary position, and as soon as I sent my resumé, she stopped e-mailing me! uugh....

Secondly, I'm feeling passionate about two things right now: reading and tea. During the school season there is no time for pleasure-reading. I occasionally sneak in a couple pages on the bus, but by the time I get to open the book again, I've already forgotten what happened last. But since school has dismissed I've read 3 books with one more in about a week. They were: The Book of Embraces by Eduardo Galeano, As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner, The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut, and this I loved so much that I'm now reading Slaughterhouse Five by Vonnegut. After this I plan on working on Multitude: War and Democracy in the Age of Empire by Negri & Hardt- a required text for a class I wasn't able to take this spring.

As for teas, several tea blogs have ignited a passion in me for exploring that world. I currently have about 15 teas, but they are mostly old and have long lost their interest in life. My birthday is tomorrow, and I childishly hope to receive a gaiwan or high-quality green tea. Maybe I'll post another tea review in the near future......

Third, and lastly, I got a pair of kick-ass sandals that I want to try out, as soon as you don't sweat balls by walking out your front door. I"m thinking of going back to either Palomar Mountain or Mission Trails. Can't drive too far away, either.

Cheers, and think about my next couple blogs: a tea review, "reasons i am anti-religious pt. 2", & "reasons i am a vegetarian/pescatarian/feegan/socially & environmentally aware eater".

a burrito to avoid

2008-05-05T00:26:00.001-07:00

don't eat a "texas burrito". unless you just really enjoy french fries, cheese, sour cream, and a bit of chicken. uuughfsf....

being in boston

2008-04-14T21:26:00.000-07:00

being in boston puts me in a pensive mood.

it is obviously an educated city. you can just tell.

there is so much history and culture and deserved pride.

boston has so much to offer.

why must i return to san diego?

Reasons I Am Antireligious Part 1

2008-03-16T12:03:00.000-07:00

I am antireligious. This means that not only do I not subscribe to any religion, but I believe they are all false, destructive, and dangerous. There have been many obstacles and experiences which lead me to this conclusion, which I won't discuss here, but it's been an interesting journey. Raised by my Christian mother and occasionally during my life seeing my fundamentalist Christian father, I was so brainwashed by this religion that I stood in front of the church quoting Bible verses and once gathered a petition to ban all forms of abortion, based on Bible verses.

Ironically, my travels abroad as a missionary to convert Norwegians, Australians, and Belarussians were the first prompts that made me begin questioning my faith. My first deep encounter with a non-Western culture came when I studied abroad in Viet Nam as a college student. Confronted with a culture that had developed entirely differently than Anglo-American society; Vietnamese had a completely different way of thinking about the world, which really stunned me.

I think the point where I ultimately lost hope in Christianity came at a point when I was in Santa Barbara, meeting the chair of the Geography Department in hopes of studying there for my Master's Degree. I was in the library and on the wall was a map of the United States showing the geographic distribution of religion/Christian denominations. It struck me like a lightning bolt, and all of a sudden my experiences abroad made sense: religion is geography. This is also the first argument I will make for being antireligious.

1) Religion is geography.
Basically, most citizens of America are Christians simply because they were born in America. If they had been born in Viet Nam, for instance, they would probably be Buddhist. In Yemen and they would be Muslim. Closer to home, Baptists "rule" the south. Catholicism dominates the Northeast, Mormons reside predominantly in Utah. This makes sense because religion is a part of culture. The only logical conclusion that a Christian could make is of the superiority of America, since we have found the "true religion", and those "other countries" are worshiping "false gods". This question borders on cliche, but let me ask it anyway: How does any religion have the right to say that they are correct and that all other religions are wrong? Where is the support for this kind of statement? And if you don't say that your religion is the only right one, then what's the point of following yours?

2) Tradition vs. Truth
Most religious practices that I am aware of are tradition, not mandates. By mandates I mean something that they were instructed in their holy book. For instance, the Christian Bible was gradually canonized by a panel of men, not "God". These men over time decided which letters, stories, and visions complied with their version of God, canonized those into their Bible, and discarded the rest (examples of rejects are the Gospel of Thomas, the Gospel of Peter, and later, with Protestantism, the Apocrypha). Now, many books of the Bible were once canonized, but later discarded. This leads me to ask why if, according to Christians, the books were chosen through inspiration of God, there were some which were accepted only to be thrown out later. Were they once holy, but not any more?

In Judaism, the western wall (AKA Wailing Wall) is held almost as a deity to be worshiped, simply because it supports the area where Solomon once built his temple. This is not mandated by their religious texts.

In Islam, women are told that covering their faces and being inhumanely submissive to men obtains respect and blessing from Allah. As far as I know, these particular practices are not mandates.

More to come later.

A good news column :)

2008-03-06T16:47:00.000-08:00

From Nick Kristof, NY Times columnist. I freaking love this guy.

NUBA MOUNTAINS, Sudan

The farm families living in these rocky hills in central Sudan confront every disease imaginable, from leprosy to malaria, and perhaps one-quarter of children die by the age of five.

Yet this is a “good news” column. Karlo will live.

The number of children who die worldwide each year before the age of five has dropped below 10 million for the first time in recorded history — compared with 20 million annually in 1960 — Unicef noted in a report last month, “Child Survival.” Now the goal is to cut the death toll to four million by 2015.

Think about that accomplishment: The lives of 10 million children saved each year, 100 million lives per decade.

To put it another way, the late James P. Grant, a little-known American aid worker who headed Unicef from 1980 to 1995 and launched the child survival revolution with vaccinations and diarrhea treatments, probably saved more lives than were destroyed by Hitler, Mao and Stalin combined.

One of the lives saved this year seems to be that of Karlo, an 8-month-old baby boy who lives in a thatch-roof hut here. His older brother, Kuti, had died a few days before I arrived: Kuti was taken to the hospital and tested positive for malaria, but the doctor believed that he probably died from meningitis.

Then Karlo fell sick, and his mother was frantic at the thought that he would die as well. The father, Bolus Abdullah, was more fatalistic.

“Many children die here,” Mr. Bolus explained to me as volunteers with an American aid group, Samaritan’s Purse, drove the family to the nearest hospital over a fantastically rutted road. “But if that’s the will of God, then there’s nothing we can do.”

Yet there are things we can do — and that brings us to the American presidential campaign.

African children like Karlo may actually have more at stake in the outcome of the presidential election than children in the United States. Just imagine if the next president were to wage a serious war on malaria. At a tiny fraction of the cost of the war in Iraq (or a war on Iran!) such a campaign would save millions of lives and be a huge boost to African economies whose productivity is sapped by diseases.

The hospital to which we took Karlo is run by an aid group, German Emergency Doctors, and is run by a husband-wife team of physicians, Karl Eiter and Gabi Kortmann. The hospital, whose “wards” are thatch-roof huts with no electricity, is perched on a rural mountainside to protect it from aerial bombings by the Sudanese government. (Sudan’s main involvement in health care in contested areas like this has been to strafe hospitals.)

Dr. Eiter ordered a blood test for Karlo, and it came back positive for malaria. He gave Karlo a medication that is almost always effective against malaria here, artemisinin combination therapy, costing just 50 cents for an entire course of treatment.

Saving children’s lives in rural Africa or Asia, where millions die of ailments as simple as diarrhea, pneumonia or measles, is achingly simple and inexpensive. The starting point is vaccinations and basic sanitation.

“We never have all the vaccines that are required,” Dr. Eiter said.

For years, the rationale for opposing foreign assistance has been that it doesn’t work. It’s true that humanitarian aid is devilishly difficult to get right, money is squandered and the impact of aid is often oversold.

But President Bush’s record underscores that other policies are difficult to get right as well: Iraq is a mess, and social security reform and immigration reform both failed. Mr. Bush’s greatest single accomplishment is that his AIDS program in Africa is saving millions of lives.

That makes it all the more stunning that Mr. Bush’s proposed budget for 2009 cuts U.S. funding for child and maternal health programs around the world by nearly 18 percent.

Fortunately, all the candidates are saying the right things about malaria, AIDS and support for education in Africa (although John McCain is fuzzier about commitments). You can compare the candidates’ positions on global humanitarian issues at www.onevote08.org.

Voters should remember this: A president may or may not be able to improve schools or protect manufacturing jobs in Ohio, but a president probably could help wipe out malaria. Compared with other challenges a president faces, saving a million children’s lives a year is the low-hanging fruit.

Karlo, bouncing in his mother’s lap, underscores the hope. With the medicine, he recovered quickly and was sent home from the hospital after a few days. The news here is simple and giddy ... he’s alive!

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/06/opinion/06kristof.html?hp

defense budgets and communism

2008-03-04T16:26:00.000-08:00

Alright, readers: today's blog will cover two topics. That's right. I heard two things today that burned me up, and I have to discuss these now. But briefly, since I just got a new job today and I must go celebrate.

First topic of discussion: On KPBS's "Citizen Voices" today, I heard a libertarian say that some of the things Barack Obama stands for are "like going back to communism". He then went on to say that we fought communism for so long, and now we're going to forget about that and return to communism. Anyone who knows me knows that I tend to pick apart arguments to reveal their fallacies. I'm a bit of a rhetorician.My first beef with this argument is nitpicky: we were never communist per se, so we cannot return to it. However, there are two deeper assumptions underlying this statement, the assumption that all communism is bad, and the assumption that we should have nothing to do with it. Furthermore, I think what the person was discussing was socialism, not communism; they are two very different things, and I think the person was confusing them. An ad hominem logical fallacy occurs when somebody criticizes an idea by giving it a name that is designed to invoke fear or disgust, rather than actually discussing intrinsic characteristics. In other words, it is name-calling, which is not a logical argument. Therefore, saying something is bad because it is "communist" is not logical. Taking this one step further, what the person said was not logical because it assumed that "all communism is bad" is a non-disputable notion.

Now, turning to the second assumption of this statement, that we should avoid communism, he forgets that we've already adopted many socialist policies that few would discredit. I kind of like having publicly-funded libraries, schools, utilities, roads, humanitarian programs, and public transportation. Looking at this argument from another direction, I kind of like the interstate highway system that we adopted from Nazi Germany, and VW Beetles ("People's Car", in German), which were developed by Adolph Hitler himself. I would also like publicly-funded healthcare, along the lines of what's already in place in Canada, England, France, Sweden, Norway, and half the rest of the developed world. If they do it, why can't we?

And this brings us to the second topic that I want to discuss before I go inebriate myself, the report from the BBC covering China's increase in defense spending. Apparently the U.S. is quite worried about the fact that China increased its military spending 18% this year. China will now be spending $59 billion. Waaaaaait a second.... This worries the U.S.? The country that spends nearly 9 times that amount annually ($481.4 billion)? Does this not sound extremely arrogant of the U.S.? Before China's announcement, the U.S. held the place of the biggest spender on defense in the world: it spends more annually than the rest of the world COMBINED. I'd love to hear an argument in support of this. As a side note, the U.S. sends $2 billion annually to the current government in Colombia, which is now being heavily criticized from the world for its murder of a rebel group leader.

Why are we in so deep with our fear of "socialism"/"communism", and how did we get so deep into our defense miseries? I would argue that one reason is because we don't teach geography in high schools. Every place outside our borders becomes a mythical fairy-tale land, full of dragons that want to eat us. And scary people that have a different religion that want to bomb us. Our children are also not taught some of the policies that other countries have in place, to test what's good and bad about them. I sincerely believe that if we were more conscious of the rest of the world, we would be less arrogant in our foreign policies.

Running out of time. Gotta go.

edit: $2 billion is the amount given by the U.S. to foreign militaries in sum, while $500 million is the amount given to the Colombian government.

teas

2008-02-24T13:23:00.000-08:00

waking at 2:30 this morning feeling the oncoming of a vicious migraine, i knew this would be a difficult day. and so far, it's lived up to my expectations for it.

i decided to try a new tea i've gotten called "ontario icewine white". i have to say that this has quickly become one of my favorite teas. the concept of flavoring white teas has always eluded me, but this one seems to be different. first, when dry its aroma borders on overwhelming, but that dissipates once steeped. holding the cup in my hand as i type, i would describe the aroma as a mixture of berries and grapes, and the taste as a smooth, sweet juice.

google always helps when you're not familiar with something, so i did a couple searches on "ice wine", "ice wine white tea", "ontario ice wine", etc. i stumbled on quite a remarkable tea review blog, which has since been linked to in my links box. check it out here, too!

so, in case you're curious, icewine is first a dessert wine that is made with frozen grapes. it is also a flavor used for many purposes, one of which is tea. it seems that this flavor is mostly used with black teas, but obviously mine was a white.

here's the picture of it:

has anyone else tried this? let me know how you like it.

oh, and i just couldn't post a blog without letting you know that the CEO of GM called global warming a "crock of shit". ooooook. boycott those bastards.

today

2008-02-09T02:57:00.000-08:00

this morning on the trolley a woman lividly stood from her seat to move toward more comfortable space. she exclaimed quite loudly at the woman away from whom she moved, "learn to speak english! it's going to come to the day that you'll need to!" i immediately wondered if this situation was caused by her race, economic status, or the method of thinking she adopted from her culture. how does switzerland do it?

this afternoon the dust melted away from my windshield. my car had been impounded for two nights, and the thick dust turned to mud when mixed with my windshield wiper fluid. i feel sorry for the people working there.

this evening i struggled to make conversation because the stress is pulling me down. i can't find anything interesting to say about myself, about what this person is uttering, or about the future. what else is there to talk about? i wonder if this will ever be easier.

tonight i saw a radiantly beautiful girl and thought about if it will be easier to turn away from her when i'm married. will girls like this always catch my eye, and, if they will, is it ok that they do? i couldn't believe how easily my heart became softer when i saw her smile, but what about my own lady? am i already betraying her? upon the first glance, indifference, but as her smile raised her lips far above her teeth exposing her gums and her thick-rimmed glasses ascended with her wrinkling nose and her small white teeth taking precedence over her nerdy appearance, wonder and marvel at her dazzle.

now i'm not yet asleep but already dreaming of remaking my past. perhaps things didn't happen in the straightforward way i remember, and that the alternative was the actuality. instead. what if. move on. optimism. that's life.

green car of the year

2008-01-19T11:53:00.000-08:00

from the Environmental News Network:

At the L.A. Auto Show this year, there were two separate award ceremonies for the Green Car of the Year 2008. Inside, at the "official" award ceremony, the Chevy Tahoe Hybrid was announced the winner. Outside, at an "unofficial" ceremony staged across the street, the Plug-In Toyota Prius Hybrid won the prize.
So which is the greenest car of the two? The Chevy Tahoe gets 20 mpg. The Plug-In Toyota Prius gets 100 mpg.

wow. i never thought a car could be considered "green" if it got 20 mpg. on the other hand, can any car be considered "green"?

untitled 3

2008-01-12T10:16:00.000-08:00

you are my fleeting
overwhelming
idealized phantasm
and i lovemiss you: i've hidden it, i know.

last night after the glossy sky passed over my eyes
and the stars were serenely not the backdrop but the stage
of our dreams
you, resurrected, looked at me the way i always wanted;
your eyes everything but gentle (but they were gentle)
reminded me
why i can not forget you, can not
leave you
there

you are my idealized phantasm.
i lovemiss you- the idealized
you.
not the real you.

someday we both will walk again
among the gods of the stars,
between the legs of pegasus
holding nebulae captive
but my eyes will open and imprison me
and i'll convince myself that i idealized you again

Need new music???

2008-01-06T21:21:00.000-08:00

My hard drive is currently having difficulties, and the music with which I'm familiar is (hopefully temporarily) unavailable. The only music I can listen to is what I download, so I'm getting introduced to a lot of new music.

Here are some bands I recommend, according to broad genre categories:

post-rock, ambient, etc.
Eluvium. By far some of the most beautiful music I've heard in a while. Imagine electronica slowed to a crawl- on the edge of drone- but, before you can lose interest, Satie-style piano melts your heart and brings a sense of peace and joy to each song. This description is the trajectory through the cd, not simply one or two songs.

This Will Destroy You. I think these guys have been around for a little while, but I'm just now getting into them. Explosions-esque post-rock. I don't mind the similarity, though, because they always keep you guessing, always hitting the emotional strings at precisely the right moment, and just barely enough form an identity of their own.

The Dead Texan. Ambient that makes a case for its own music by branching into drone. A very solid soundscape, though.

Colleen. Holds a special place in my heart now.

freak folk, new weird america, etc.
Castanets. Awesome one-man band from San Diego. Keeps things exciting throughout the cd. The weakest part, however, is the last track on the cd, where he tries some sort of electronic-dance style. As unfair as it is to make comparisons, his style lies in the realm of early Devendra Banhart, but absolutely does not remain there.

The Skygreen Leopards. Oh me, oh my, are these guys worth checking out. They gave me that feeling of joy when you first hear a band that steals your heart. Of course, that also happened to me when first listening to Silversun Pickups, before I burned out on them. Last.fm currently describes them as "magical psych-folk".

Stereo Total. Awesome.

Frog Eyes. Awesome.

the battle of algiers

2008-01-01T18:35:00.000-08:00

This winter break I haven't watched nearly as many movies as I would have liked. I'm mostly spending my time on other things. For instance, my thesis proposal is about ready to be sent out again, hopefully for the second-to-last time. I'm reading two books: "In the Space of Theory", a geographic book by Matthew Sparks at the University of Washington, and "The Nick Adams Stories" by Ernest Hemingway.

The other day I watched one of the most incredible films, though, and thought that it would be worth 4 blogs if I could write that much on it. I won't attempt this, but hopefully this blog will effectively convey the wonder of this film.

"The Battle of Algiers" documents the resistance fighters in French-colonized Algeria of the late 1950's. While we often look back on Europe's colonial history with disdain, one of the most striking connections one could make with this movie is the parallel with current colonization: our occupation of Iraq. This blog is about the movie, however, so I must not digress.

This movie is effective in making you understand the fighters' imperative mission, while at the same time highlighting the reason their goals are so elusive. The French have barricaded Muslims into a particular area of the Algerian city, increased police enforcement, and even instituted a curfew. The freedom fighters have some advantages, though: the women can never be touched and rarely are searched, and the maze of the Muslim quarter's buildings allows for easy retreat from attacks.

What I really liked about this movie, aside from its documentary-style shots and impressive special effects, is its appeal to the watcher's emotions. Close-up shots (which I learned to love from Ingmar Bergman) show the honest desire for freedom, the fear of being caught, and the angst of those tortured prisoners. The closing scene is perhaps the most emotionally charged group-scene I've watched in a very long time.

Parallels to current events are incredible. I think most who support the war in Iraq should watch this movie- you can easily replace the French with Americans, and the Algerian setting with one of Iraq. Making this connection allows you to understand why Iraqis fight, and one of the reasons there is so much violence.

I would highly highly recommend this movie to film lovers and history-buffs alike. Wonderful film.

george washington

2007-12-31T13:16:00.000-08:00

So, my intelligence has been questioned twice recently due to the fact that I normally don't capitalize unless it is absolutely imperative. Does this mean that I'm selling out, if I change that? I hope not!

Today I read George Washington's farewell address to the nation. Several points astonished me, and I think they are worth noting here.

1: "[I]ndignantly [frown] upon the first dawning of every attempt to alienate any portion of our country from the rest..."

I am suspicious to whether Washington here was referring to the geography of the new nation (i.e., states or regions), or whether he wished to leave it more general. The latter is most likely the case, since Washington also advocated the idea that all men are "created equal" (aside from his slaves, of course). If this is in fact the case, should we not defend the rights of minorities, of the disadvantaged, of those who have made mistakes in life?

2: "...avoid the necessity of those overgrown military establishments which, under any form of government, are inauspicious to liberty, and which are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty."

Since I recently watched "Why We Fight", a documentary on America's Military-Industrial complex, Washington's statement here left quite an impression. He postulates that an unnecessarily large military is a danger to our liberty. As "liberty" is a very ambiguously-used term, Dictionary.com defines it as "freedom from arbitrary or despotic government or control". Therefore, if you consider America's military too large, you must believe that our government could be using arbitrary and despotic control. I personally agree with this notion.

3: Within the content of six paragraphs, Washington condemns the formation of parties in America's legal system. He argues that they cause factions in the government, that they do not represent the positions of the citizens, and that they promote party interests rather than the interests of the nation.

I have not declared a political party because I believed beforehand all that Washington claimed. Also, restricting yourself to a party confines your ability to think independently of a creed. While some politicians hold divergent opinions from their respective parties (i.e., Schwarzenegger and Ron Paul), the majority have their minds hijacked by an organized method of thinking. Democrats may not hold Republican or Socialist ideals, Republicans may not have Green or Socialist ideals, and so on. In the same manner, if you hold a particular opinion, you are often labeled according to a party: I was recently called a socialist because I favor cheap, available public transportation. This is ridiculous.

4: "Of all the dispositions and habits which lead to political prosperity, religion and morality are indispensable supports."

He does not say which moral code, and certainly does not mention Christianity.

Farewell address from The Avalon Project.

10 reasons i hate san diego

2007-12-06T19:13:00.000-08:00

i've moved around quite a bit in my life. i've lived, throughout my life, in 5 states, traveled to almost all 50, and 7 countries. i've been to a fair amount of places, but i have to say that san diego rates pretty low on my list of favorite places. don't misunderstand- it's ok for some people. but i'm different than most people, and just because other people like it doesn't mean that i will. also, it has its benefits. and i am glad i had the chance to live here- i met the most amazing girl in the world here. buuuuut, i feel about as eager to leave san diego as i was to leave kentucky. here's why:

10. its environment. the amount of smog in the air has been coming to my attention a lot more lately. also, there is such a dearth of cutting-edge environmental spectacles. for instance, i never see waterless urinals in this semi-arid climate, i don't see many cfl lights in this blackout-prone city, and it's more common to see a 4x4 monster truck than a civic.

9. its military complex. goes hand-in-hand with the 4x4 monster trucks. yes, people here support the american terrorism in iraq because many of the soldiers in iraq were deployed from san diego. in some areas of this city, the type-a alpha males rule, and if you are not like them, you are "feminine". here, strength precedes intelligence. reminds me a lot of the south.

8. its lack of good coffee/tea shops. to repeat a friend from the bay area, "this is starbucks territory". i must pay respects to three coffee shops san diego really needs. these are pannikin (any location), rebecca's coffee house, and influx cafe. other than these (and a couple other places), there's really not much to brag about. good luck finding a tea shop here: the best place to get loose-leaf tea is a place in old town- the service is terrible, it closes early, and there's no seating.

7. its complacency. people here are comfortable with where they are in life (no matter where that may be), and feel no need to grow or challenge or be different. i'm sick of being stared at because i don't follow the norm. and if i challenge what is the mainstream opinion, i get ostracized.

6. its superficiality. one word to describe san diego? superficial. if you're ever in san diego, don't try to talk to anyone about something that actually matters. if you do, you're a very strange person. if you're a female visiting san diego and want to blend in with the locals, come prepared with too much make-up and too much time to spend looking at yourself in the mirror. the superficiality even seeps into public spaces: sdsu's campus green areas are not meant to be walked on or sat on; they're meant to be looked at. there's not much to do in balboa park beside walk in the developed areas.

5. its culture/history. san diego has it. but it's solely oriented around surfing. this area is not known for its art, its sophistication, or its finesse. there's history here, too, but the problem is that cabrillo and his successors wiped it out to establish their own history. people here tend to forget about that. on a side note, although i am very tolerant, respectful, and supportive of the northern mexico culture, i personally don't like it very much; but this culture is very prominently displayed and ingrained here.

4. its citizens' attitudes. i can't figure out why people here are so far removed from their relationships. your friends don't reveal their soul to you. in fact, unless you know someone well, they will hardly make eye contact with you. moreover, your friends don't introduce you to more friends- that's up to you.

3. its exclusivity. everything's 21-and-up, which isn't a hindrance for me anymore, but these rules make it hard to have younger friends. before i turned 21, i couldn't find anything to do here, believe it or not. it's also exclusive in terms of prejudice: they expect certain things from certain people, making stereotypes normative.

2. its political atmosphere. i've gotten the impression here that you shouldn't challenge the government, that things going on in city hall are not my business, and that republicans are god's children. i want to hide from people that i vote neither democrat nor republican, and don't politically support anyone i disagree with. i carry many socialist ideals, but that doesn't mean i'm a socialist either, a concept incomprehensible to most people here.

1. its inaccessibility. everything worth going to is disconnected from the rest of the city: south park has 1 bus running through it, ocean beach is almost literally disconnected from the city, and north park has jems, but they are also spread out. i want to live in a city connected by public transportation and that allows walking. try living in san diego without a car. yeah. it would suck.

this list spilled onto the screen way too fast. yeah, i hate it here. maybe seattle or san francisco next?

638 ways to kill castro

2007-10-13T23:46:00.000-07:00

i don't really have time to be writing another blog, but i've been wanting to write a review of this movie for a while. so instead of preparing for my lecture on tuesday, i think i'll write a short review of this movie.

first of all, let me say that i've become more and more interested in cuban politics in the last couple years. it seems that there is a lot of fear and anger toward this nation by conservatives in america, while liberals tend to idealize the repressive castro-led period. meanwhile, the rest of the world sits back and laughs at all us, whether we ally or retreat with/from cuba. i tend to find myself sympathizing more with liberals than conservatives on this topic, of course. i point this out because i think political stances introduce many biases in art critique.

that being said, this was a confusingly fun movie. in terms of its quality as a documentary, it is too unfocused and flippant to be taken too seriously, as the director jumps topics, inserts random clips from classic crime-noir films, and never seriously tackles the issue of its focus.

the whole idea behind the film is that the CIA has come up with 638 plots to kill castro, as the title implies. the movie's intention is not to cover all plots (nor does it), but rather to introduce the watcher to some of the more ridiculous, humorous ones. for instance, if i were plotting to kill an avid snorkeler, i would most certainly place an exotic sea-shell at the bottom of the sea, hoping that snorkeler would pick it up and trigger the embedded explosive.

a subtext of this laundry list of assassination attempts is a critique on the war on terror. an interesting twist, but as mentioned above, it's hard to take this seriously with all the inserted digressive movie clips. beside this, it's not what the movie's about. this is not to say it doesn't belong in this movie, but it was not done in a way that added to the theme of the movie. note: i have often made many of the arguments on the war on terror that this film makes.

in summary, this movie was interesting, but not worthy of a high rating. in my opinion, it was fun to watch, since this recent history is still panning itself out in front of (or literally below) us, and i would suggest a gander.

pusillanimous

2007-10-07T00:54:00.000-07:00

i was doing some vocab refreshing for my future GRE test, and randomly-chosen word "pusillanimous" came up. i'm familiar with this word (for the record), but below it were some contexts in which it was used. here is the quote from "the harvard crimson", "the nation's oldest continuously published daily college newspaper":

We pen this editorial in salute to Representative Duncan Hunter (R-Calif.), a true patriot.
In this perilous time, in a nation that is threatening to be overtaken by pusillanimous
pinkoes, it takes a special sort of man to defend the idea that freedom is a privilege, not
a right.

now, when i read such a loaded phrase as "pusillanimous pinkoes", i like to sit back and contemplate the meaning of the phrase. fortunately i noticed the farce when reading the full article, but in all reality, this is the logic that many people use. this logic has inspired thousands, if not millions, of deaths, inspiring hatred in the most "patriotic" among us.

is freedom a privilege, and not a right? have any of you been told that our military fights for our freedom to write blogs such as this? should we plunge headfirst into international politics when we tell our young (usually archetypal masculine) citizens that freedom is a privilege, and not a right? my experience has been that we are told that we should fight for our freedom, since without this conflict, our freedoms will be soaked up as if into a sponge.

before continuing, i should bring to attention the idea that the term "freedom" is used here as if we have absolute freedom- anarchy. ironically, most using this logic fiercely antagonize anarchist philosophy.

moving on. when we invade another country, at least one argument is always to "spread freedom". i'm sure you've never heard the phrase "spread democracy" come out of bush's mouth, right? so, freedom is the right of those people, but not us? let's look at a country like cuba, n korea, iran, etc., etc. our country advocates "spreading freedom and democracy" to these countries, because it is a "human right". pause. pause, again. we should support our military, support campus recruitment, support allocation of tax money to war, and join the military, all because our freedom is a "privilege, not a right"? this simply contradicts its own purporters' logic. our type of freedom cannot be a privilege for us, but a right for others.

i advocate critical reflection on our views of freedom. how do we use the term? in what ways are words contorted by those trying to reinforce their own way of life, power, and ideas? in what ways are differing attitudes shamed by those in the "norm"? be reflexive. examine how your biases affect your mode of thinking. comment on this blog to force me into reflexive thought.

oh, and read the article. it's great.
http://www.thecrimson.com/article.aspx?ref=519834

welcome, gods and goddesses

2007-10-02T09:12:00.000-07:00

welcome to my new blog. i'm looking forward to using this blog, since my other one was open to more people than i liked. actually, it was readable by a few people who i didn't want to read it. here i will be able to express myself more freely, and hopefully someone will hear my voice.

do you like music? this blog will tickle your ears and introduce you to some stuff of which you've never heard. you're into film? i'll probably post some reviews of movies i'm watching. oooooh- politics: i don't believe what you believe, and that normally leads to good conversation.

so sit back, enjoy yourself, and let me know what you think. i value your opinions :)

ryan