i've moved around quite a bit in my life. i've lived, throughout my life, in 5 states, traveled to almost all 50, and 7 countries. i've been to a fair amount of places, but i have to say that san diego rates pretty low on my list of favorite places. don't misunderstand- it's ok for some people. but i'm different than most people, and just because other people like it doesn't mean that i will. also, it has its benefits. and i am glad i had the chance to live here- i met the most amazing girl in the world here. buuuuut, i feel about as eager to leave san diego as i was to leave kentucky. here's why:
10. its environment. the amount of smog in the air has been coming to my attention a lot more lately. also, there is such a dearth of cutting-edge environmental spectacles. for instance, i never see waterless urinals in this semi-arid climate, i don't see many cfl lights in this blackout-prone city, and it's more common to see a 4x4 monster truck than a civic.
9. its military complex. goes hand-in-hand with the 4x4 monster trucks. yes, people here support the american terrorism in iraq because many of the soldiers in iraq were deployed from san diego. in some areas of this city, the type-a alpha males rule, and if you are not like them, you are "feminine". here, strength precedes intelligence. reminds me a lot of the south.
8. its lack of good coffee/tea shops. to repeat a friend from the bay area, "this is starbucks territory". i must pay respects to three coffee shops san diego really needs. these are pannikin (any location), rebecca's coffee house, and influx cafe. other than these (and a couple other places), there's really not much to brag about. good luck finding a tea shop here: the best place to get loose-leaf tea is a place in old town- the service is terrible, it closes early, and there's no seating.
7. its complacency. people here are comfortable with where they are in life (no matter where that may be), and feel no need to grow or challenge or be different. i'm sick of being stared at because i don't follow the norm. and if i challenge what is the mainstream opinion, i get ostracized.
6. its superficiality. one word to describe san diego? superficial. if you're ever in san diego, don't try to talk to anyone about something that actually matters. if you do, you're a very strange person. if you're a female visiting san diego and want to blend in with the locals, come prepared with too much make-up and too much time to spend looking at yourself in the mirror. the superficiality even seeps into public spaces: sdsu's campus green areas are not meant to be walked on or sat on; they're meant to be looked at. there's not much to do in balboa park beside walk in the developed areas.
5. its culture/history. san diego has it. but it's solely oriented around surfing. this area is not known for its art, its sophistication, or its finesse. there's history here, too, but the problem is that cabrillo and his successors wiped it out to establish their own history. people here tend to forget about that. on a side note, although i am very tolerant, respectful, and supportive of the northern mexico culture, i personally don't like it very much; but this culture is very prominently displayed and ingrained here.
4. its citizens' attitudes. i can't figure out why people here are so far removed from their relationships. your friends don't reveal their soul to you. in fact, unless you know someone well, they will hardly make eye contact with you. moreover, your friends don't introduce you to more friends- that's up to you.
3. its exclusivity. everything's 21-and-up, which isn't a hindrance for me anymore, but these rules make it hard to have younger friends. before i turned 21, i couldn't find anything to do here, believe it or not. it's also exclusive in terms of prejudice: they expect certain things from certain people, making stereotypes normative.
2. its political atmosphere. i've gotten the impression here that you shouldn't challenge the government, that things going on in city hall are not my business, and that republicans are god's children. i want to hide from people that i vote neither democrat nor republican, and don't politically support anyone i disagree with. i carry many socialist ideals, but that doesn't mean i'm a socialist either, a concept incomprehensible to most people here.
1. its inaccessibility. everything worth going to is disconnected from the rest of the city: south park has 1 bus running through it, ocean beach is almost literally disconnected from the city, and north park has jems, but they are also spread out. i want to live in a city connected by public transportation and that allows walking. try living in san diego without a car. yeah. it would suck.
this list spilled onto the screen way too fast. yeah, i hate it here. maybe seattle or san francisco next?
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«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 309 of 30918. To further prove how ass backwards everything is in SD, it does get chilly during the winter--where 65 or 67 for the high often feels much cooler than that (and it does get down into the 40's at night and in the morning)...yet you will still see Diegans in shorts and flip flops, with those having an IQ north of 10 having enough sense to wear their cute ski vest...probably the same idiots who wear ski caps during the summer.
@Roy Xxx To be honest, that's one thing I really like about San Diego, that you can wear shorts and flip flops year round and not be judged about it.
That's fine, but cold is cold...I have often said at times SD has the warmest 65 degrees I've ever felt (May) and the coldest 65 I have ever felt (winter time--where it feels much colder than that with the cold air coming off of the water)...and I went to college in upstate NY and visit Chicago on business during the winter. I wore my ski jacket with long sweats or pants many mornings when I sat outside Starbucks from mid Dec- mid March when temps can and do dip into the 40's...even when it warms up to 67 or 70 on such days, often at 2PM, there is a short window for shorts, if at all and to me. I also do not consider these beach days either (my definition of a beach day being able to lie out at the beach and sunbathe--not riding on the bike path with a sweatshirt or sweater on).
19. As for North County, please tell me what exciting things there are to do past 8:30PM...example, Del Mar becomes Dull Mar at 8:31PM.
If one treasures the "excitement" of suburbia, there are better places than North County...for example, Long Island--where at least it is a relatively easy commute into Manhattan via LIRR; Marin County--where it is a short drive into SF; or even Orange County--where a night in LA and being able to come home the same night is well within reason...ooops, that's right, I forgot SD has Tijuana which is right up there with NYC, SF and LA.
9 PM is when most businesses in North County close. However, there is one cafe called The Yellow Deli that is open 24 hours 5 days a week in Vista, Barnes and Noble is open til 11 PM, In-N-Out is open til 1 AM, and of course, Denny's is open. North County is the family oriented part of San Diego, and Del Mar actually has some of the best public schools in California.
How does it make that area exciting?...don't get me wrong--when I get ready to die, and not just from boredom, at age 85 or 90 I am certain assisted living facilities in that area will prepare me quite well for my permanent rest.
Before the Yellow Deli opened, there weren't any hip places (although the lounge has only 3 tables). I attend the community college in Oceanside, and I'm a little dissapointed by the lack of 24 hour coffee shops nearby. To put it short, North County is not supposed to be exciting, it's basically well kept and safe for professionals to raise their children. So there is quite a lot to do, if you're a soccer mom into yoga or a rich businessmen or a hipster willing to spend $$ on expensive organic fair trade food at the farmers markets.
I'm a professional, retiring early with no debt and have far more exciting options in Miami. No County and all douchey things south of that are just plain boring to me..at least in equally boring suburban OC I could always escape to LA for a night on the weekend and be back home in my own bed. Not interested in a family, hence why all parts of SD is super boring and unsophisticated to me and why I left for greener pastures.
Yes, I would be interested in a meet up! What time do you want to do it?
well you just described the person I was talking about
And if I wanted to live in boring, well kept suburbia with professionals for raising children I would live in nicer places such as Marin County, north shore of Long Island, or even bland Orange County which are 15, 30, and 60 minutes, respectively, from actual cosmopolitan cities.
I leave San Diego in 260 days. GOD I am so glad!
Another reason why I hate San Diego:
Here is what happened today. I recently stopped by a food fair today (one that samples small amounts of food from all around the world) I went by some of the stands and went to sample some cheese. (The cheese was $4.00 a pound by the way, just so you guys know, and I think you guys could probably guess that basically everything else was rediculously overpriced as well). Well I was standing in line to sample a little bit of the cheese. Well I asked the man in line for a sample. The man serving the cheese sale "hold on". He was busy cutting a slice of cheese for the customer in front of me to buy (there was only one customer BTW, just so you know) Well anyways, the guy took around 10 minutes to cut the slice of cheese for the customer in front and during that time the man could have simply cut a small slice of cheese for me to have. Well he didn't. Once the guy cutting the cheese had finished, the man said "Next in line please". I stepped up. The man pushed me aside as if it was nothing and said, "Next Customer!" I noticed that all the man really cared about was people buying his REDICULOUSLY overpriced cheese that was for such a small size, and just pushed me away like it was nothing. GOD the people of this city, could you get any ruder?
Also, basically I have to agree that ALL San Diegans cannot take ANY criticism about there city. To them, San Diego is of course God's greatest gift to Earth and there is ABSOLUTELY nothing like it at all... What a complete joke! Honestly I think San Diego is one of the worst cities to live in overall on the planet when you factor in the cost of living, the ability to get ANY job whatsoever (even a minimum wage one, of course that requires 2+ years of experience (just look for jobs located in San Diego on Indeed just to see that I am not wrong, you really need 2 years)), ridiculously overpriced apartments, not ONE real person at All, fake people EVERYWHERE! Ugggg! I just wamt to get out as soon as I can!
I really agree with you TheJusticefornone that the people are fake as hell. What got me (and I was there for 5 years) was the impossibility to establish friendships. I live in Texas now and the people here are so friendly and talk to each other and have a sense of community and easy-goingness of spirit. Why couldn't I get that in San Diego? I don't know. It's a strange place and didn't live up to its promise of being a beautiful coastal city. My experience there was oppressive, and yes the people are money hungry like you could eat the stuff.
Something went wrong in SD. The homeless population exponentially increased during my time there. Mark my words...in the next 5 years, certainly 10, there's going to be a humanitarian crisis in SD and it could get as bad as San Francisco where the city is basically covered in human shit. Actually I saw that once on Adams. \
It's a big country and there are many places to live within its borders. Don't get stuck in California man. I know it's supposed to be great, but I fail to see what's great about it. Of course I'm speaking from a low income perspective. If you've got daddy's credit card and you can just do what you want...obviously you would have more options and a more comfortable experience.
Yes, let's do a meet up group!
Have you also noticed it was also EXTREMELY difficult to get a job (e.g. ludicrous, over the top requirements for even simple jobs such as 2+ years of experience, having to know Spanish fluently, having to know how to work ALL aspects of a computer and Microsoft Office programs even though you job has NOTHING of that nature intergrated into it, etc.)?
Yes: unfortunately, San Diego is not a global city with Fortune 500 companies unlike San Francisco, NYC or Seattle. It's geography being constrained by mountain ranges and the US-Mexico Border makes it difficult for it to expand. It is a city that has a hard time growing up and move into modern times.
Justice--money was not an issue for me. SD is just an unsophisticated city with people who settle for mediocrity...if I had been from rural Montana or Kentucky, then I might have found SD somewhat interesting. It's like Duck Dynasty meets Whittier and they think the entire world is envious of them, which they certainly are not.
Roy Xxx, I think you understand SD well. Unsophisticated and mediocre. The words lackluster and underwhelming come to mind. I had the experience of living with a bookstore owner who was threatened that I was educated. I'm curious to see what happens to SD as rents rise and homelessness skyrockets.
@Ryan Gerald's Blog
A bookstore owner who was threatened that you were educated? That's a red flag that the person was insecure. Do you live near either La Jolla or Del Mar? That's where a lot of those types of people are. Those people are waist deep in debt and want to be in the know when really they don't have much going for them.
@Joseph G. Hotto
Yes, I won't mention the guy or the bookshop, but he was a total disaster of a human being. It all started off fine, but then he got really insecure and became acrimonious. I lived in South Park. I'm out of there, thank god. At the end there the walls were closing in on me. Walking out of my house and seeing homeless people everywhere. No way to have pride in your city when there are zombies everywhere. I had a girlfriend in North Park who had the most amazing "too cool for school" attitude. If I knew any of her bullshit indie bands she felt slighted. I guess she felt she cornered the market on "cool".
Very strange town.
I've never been to South Park,so I can't comment on it. The way you and Roy Xxx describe the city, it's like a trendy beach club that looks glamorous on the outside, and everyone starts going there, drinking a couple beers and partying loud, then leaving. And the girlfriend you had sounds very similar to many of the girls in this city; they like to stay in their own bubble and keep to themselves. And I wouldn't say the homeless problem is not a San Diego problem, it's a statewide problem that's even worse in Los Angeles.
I'm trying to imagine the naturally flowing result of what appears to be the perfect storm brewing. What do I mean?
In San Diego alone you have people showing up every day, but there's not a lot of housing. Housing costs are markedly rising. The homeless population is exploding AND...you have a drug epidemic. Weed, heroin, opiates, alcohol, meth, pills, god knows what else...
So what happens down the road when you have those issues growing exponentially in their intensity?
San Francisco, for instance. How many hoity toity rich people with their dot com jobs want to brag to their friends back in Kansas about their affluent, hip, San Francisco life? Well...ehem....NOW there are so many homeless people there without access to facilities that the city is ACTUALLY buried in human shit. Interesting. I knew a lot of really "cool" people back in 2000 who bragged about their San Francisco life. They were artists and musicians and I really thought, "Wow it must really happening up there" so I went. All I saw was a chilly, dirty, Northern California city with a lot of bums and rich people. I failed to see the charm.
But don't get me wrong. Let the people go to California. Let them fill up the streets of L.A. and SD and SF. Let them go there en masse, because if they go there, then they won't be here where I am now. There are better places in America to live than out west.
Of course I'm speaking from the perspective of a poor, low income person who is never going to live in Rancho Santa Fe. I went to a house there once for a party and my god...I saw how the top 1% lived. I was mortified.
SF/Marin was where I first lived and it was great--though back in the 80's...only thing that needed improvement were the winter months (chillier and more rain than SoCal) and the women--would go weeks without seeing a very hot lookIng woman. They were known as 49'ers--4's who thought they were 9's.
Next phase was Orange County...the perfect suburbia but parts (Newport Beach) were the snootiest assholes I have ever met--people went out of their way to tell you how great they were (or thought they were) and some women would come out on a first date and tell you if you made less than $xxx, then they could not see you again. Very materialistic and these people hated LA, probably with a tinge of racism since LA was more racially diverse than Newport and South OC (predominantly white and WASPy).
SD was a nice change from OC for the first few years (less materialistic, slower pace, less traffic than OC) but after awhile you get bored by the people who are shallow, uninspiring, resistant to progress, content with mediocrity, classless).
As above poster states, so many better places than the West Coast in this country.
@ Roy Xxx
Interesting stories about your life in California.
I noticed that the San Diegans didn't know much about anything outside of San Diego County. I dated a couple women who really thought SD was the shit and I was like, "Wow..ya'll have no idea how lame this is." But whatever.
One girlfriend was outspoken about her gold digger tendency. I called her a '49er. Isn't that what they called the gold diggers in 1849? I loved her too, but the worst thing that can happen to a gold digger is another damn birthday, because the older those women get, the harder it is to captivate the fat cow that's going to give her the life she wants. She lived in North Park too. Thought it was so cool there. The place is CRAWLING with bums. I failed to see what was great about it. Sorry.
Another girlfriend was a RAGING alcoholic. Bragged about her bars that she got drunk at, like that means anything. I didn't fit in with her million and one gay friends in Hillcrest. I didn't have as much money as them and didn't like alcohol as much and certainly didn't fit into their club. She was WAY more concerned with what her enabling friends thought than what she felt herself. Not sure how she's avoided a DUI, but again...whatever.
"I noticed that the San Diegans didn't know much about anything outside San Diego County"
I have yet to find many people in San Diego that are actually from there, almost everyone I know has moved here from somewhere else, many of which are from the Bay Area or the East Coast.
I noticed when I lived in the Bay Area, almost all Northern Californians had this hate for anything SoCalifornian--mostly LA, but still a hate for almost all things SoCal....living in SoCal for as long as I did I found most SoCalifornians were unaware of/oblivious to this--maybe that ties into Phuck's travel, or lack thereof, comment.
I found many SoCal'ers traveled to like places to SoCal--Vegas, Scottsdale, Cabo, and Hawaii...almost a bubble. Those who went out on a limb would add in Tahiti--it's as though these people, already used to limited human interaction, either wanted to hang out with similar minded people or head, instead, where they had even less human interaction.
Another reason why hate San Diego
So anyways I am posting here again because I have another thing about San Diego I would like to say. So anyways, it has been a rough 4 months and I have been applying to jobs EVERYWHERE to say the least. After exactly 1068 applications, I FINALLY got a job at California Marketing Group. I was EXTREMELY glad. Anyways I got onto the job right. After just TWO days on the job and me telling them badly that I REALLY need the job, I got fired after 2 days! How does that work! It usually takes multiple weeks to get fired on a job, but when it happens the first couple of days, you know there must be something up. I was like, how the hell does this happen! And I really need this job! It turns out that CMG fired me because I had said a couple of wrong phrases on a couple of calls with them, and I got released early. Like how does that work! Could they have just helped me on the spot instead? And given me some leeway to improve later on down the line? Geez, what is with this place? And why does every job require EVERY qualification under the sun? And why is everything a scam?
TheJusticefornone - Do what I did... Even when I moved down to SD from the LA area, I maintained a mailbox back in LA that I could check digitally. Even when I resigned from--and was subsequently fired by the company president--my SD job after working for only 2.5 months, I used my mailbox address to apply for jobs throughout the rest of California, especially LA so that I could be seen as a local candidate. That, and not listing my SD job on any resume, worked for me.
If you stay in California, move to LA, the Bay Area, or even Sacramento. Better job markets and better metropolises all, IMO. You can get a pretty cheap mailbox ($10-20 per month, usually a with local company and not the UPS Store) in LA or the Bay and never have to visit the store. When you sign up for a mailbox online, that store will send you a form by mail or email that has to be notarized. Go to a UPS Store (one time) or something, pay $15 for a Notary Public signature and seal, and just mail (via USPS) that form back to the store. You'll have your address in no time that you can use on resumes, so that you can be a local candidate in LA or the Bay (or, I'd assume, Phoenix or Houston or wherever...), and, if you get any mail, you can just check it online.
Don't list your job on your resume, as you were there for only two days. Sign up for unemployment, MediCal (if you qualify, which you probably do), and food stamps, aka CalFresh (shift some money around in your bank accounts if you have to so that you can find a way to prove that you're under the $2,000-in-bank threshold).
Get out of SD, mate.
^^great advice^^
Part 1/3
Maeve Alleine - Thanks!
I feel TheJusticefornone's pain. The company I worked for in SD had a very high turnover - about 70% annually companywide. It was a small company, fewer than 50 staff at the time (now they might be hovering around 65-70, they have expanded but are still high-turnover). My job "coach," the person one tier above my title who was supposed to help me more effectively understand and do my job in the interim/training period, was a raging bitch toward me who absolutely singled me out from day one as being "lazy and unproductive," and, quite honestly, didn't do so for anyone else. She was nice to literally everyone else in the company. She flat-out wouldn't answer my questions about understanding even which codes go on which forms, and I ended up having to rely on my same-level co-workers. This woman was also the one who directed me to wait in the company waiting area/kitchen when I arrived for my interview, without cracking a smile or saying any more than two words to me. She grew up in SD. She has since left the company.
My bosses alternated between a project manager and the COO. The project manager was a smug, sanctimonious douchebag who was a little nicer to me than Ms. Job "Coach," but was an incredible know-it-all who fairly frequently got into verbal squabbles with all levels of staff and management. He grew up in SD. He resigned from the company, and was just told to leave immediately because the CEO wanted to fire him anyway.
The COO was a firm and stern, but good and nice, man. Always approachable, but always business. Ex-Navy officer. I liked him. He grew up in New England. He has since left the company.
Now, above everyone else were the co-owners, the president and CEO. The president is the ex-husband, and the CEO is the ex-wife. Yes, they were MARRIED! Were! And, they have remained business partners day in and day out, even traveling to job assignments around the world together, in the ten years or so since they divorced. They traveled with several other staff members on business trips, and supposedly always stayed in separate rooms. It actually IS believable that they'd stay in separate rooms, because beyond the thin veneer of professionalism, these two people clearly hated one another. The lone staff member who had been there 10+ years ago said that it was not a pretty sight around the workplace when the divorce proceedings were underway.
The CEO had zero qualms about screaming at staff at the top of her lungs, getting into piercing and personally-directed, insulting arguments with all other levels of management and staff, and berating staff or departments in companywide emails, even at 11:30pm on a Friday night. She directed one of her email tirades at me, specifically. She was an absolutely miserable wench of a human being, and was the nearly exclusive reason the turnover was so high. She grew up in New England.
The president was an okay guy, but had little personality. He really only ever cracked any sort of a smile with project managers or above. Staff, he didn't care about. Which is like, okay, whatever...it's just surprising for such a small company. He was basically miserable and still pussy-whipped. He grew up in SD.
I completed my thesis AND worked a second, remote, part-time all while working in that hellhole full-time for 2.5 months. (Lazy my ass, Ms. Job "Coach.") Well, I completed the thesis and graduated with a Master's, then literally resigned eight calendar days after walking across the stage. One day after I resigned, the president just fired me. I actually felt a sigh of relief.
Around this time, a close "friend" I'd met in OC, who was from and still lived in SD, proved that she wasn't a friend after all, but rather quite self-absorbed. She was, and is, a good person at her core, but the world revolves so much around her! I had to cut her loose, and it hurt. She had so much drama anyway, so it's for the better.
Part 2/3
As for my landlord, she was the most hyper-emotional being (not just human, but being) about anything, and she would basically take anything out on anyone, anytime, if her mood was there. She suffered from some pretty severe depression, but wasn't good at finding proper channels for addressing and expressing that depression. For example, she suddenly wanted me to leave the house one morning at around 9:00am because she "didn't need me there today," and wanted me to leave immediately; I insisted that I don't leave until I can have a quick freakin' shower! No curse words, no name-calling, no argument the days or weeks before, just "let me take a freakin' shower, thanks!" Well, she followed me around even just before I walked into the bathroom; she was almost in tears, and even threatened to call my MOM my supposed disrespect of her, and not showing my respect to women. My MOM! My last words to her that day were, "You don't have my mom's number, and my mother would laugh her ass off at you!" I then closed the door, took my shower, and left. When I moved out, she only refunded $61 of my deposit for "damages" in the room and bathroom, which I had documented as not existing. The only reason I ever got ANY refund of my deposit back was because I threatened, with a self-crafted yet Penal Code reference-ladened letter, to take her to small claims court!
That same landlady even threatened to call the police on my roommate for not leaving the house immediately at 8:30am on her sudden request. He was minding his own business and not saying a word, and always paid his rent on time! No arguments in the days and weeks prior. When he moved out, he never saw a cent of his deposit, and was never even given a reason. Well, that roommate still lives in SD, and is the only person from SD I really keep in touch with; he's actually a good guy. He's also from western Europe originally, which might explain why he has some freakin' sensibility!
Back to after when I moved out: I worked a couple of temp gigs back in LA. I bounced from AirBNB to AirBNB for a few weeks, and applied for unemployment, MediCal, and CalFresh and was approved for them all. From being fired to being reemployed by temp gigs only took a little over two months. From accepting temp work, it was only another 7-8 weeks before I was employed again full-time. A company in northern California PAID for my weekend expenses up there while interviewing at their organization, and I got the full-time job. Well, I left that high-turnover organization in NorCal after about eight months because of some management issues (one manager had a raging temper, the other was unsupportive of any of my projects). I then came back to LA, then left that job in LA after a little over a year because of unethical and immoral management who blatantly didn't appreciate their staff and were, frankly, clever sadists. I took a 10% pay raise for good performance and even accepted a new, larger office space...then resigned a week later!
Part 3/3
I did like living in NorCal and LA better than SD. However, I've taken a break from all that and chosen to travel the world again for an indefinite period of time, and been approved for temporary work visas that permit work in some countries for a few months at a time. When I come back to the USA for good, I'll probably live in Texas, or an even lower-key state like Utah, New Mexico, Arizona, or Colorado. Some place where life isn't so frenetic, the cost of living is lower, and I can still fly to either California or the Southeast in a few short hours (or less). Someplace where my tax dollars aren't squandered for things that I'm told I have can ensure great accountability for, but really don't (for example, high-speed rail, anyone?! Court rulings prioritizing smelt fish over water for agriculture, anyone?!) I have considered living in my native Southeast again, but, I dunno, I do like the scenery, general culture, cities, and climates of the Western states better. I also think that Westerners are actually nicer than Southerners, and that includes Californians away from the major coastal cities (Bay Area, LA/OC/IE, and especially SD).
Anyway, I didn't bother to share any of this in my original posts back in summer '16, because I wanted to cover more of an overview of what I generally like and, mostly, dislike about SD in that post. However, since the opportunity arose, I figured I'd share my employment, "friend," and landlord stories. There is life beyond SD, y'all! THERE IS LIFE BEYOND SD!
Oh... HOW could I forget to mention this in my three-part post just now?
At one of the companies I interviewed for in LA (actually, in this case, Newport Beach), I interviewed for a pretty high-paying job involving public policy pertaining to cell phone towers, how cities address the planning and zoning around them. The interview lasted for five minutes because I was in such shock. I was in shock of her unwillingness to crack a grin, her abrupt tone from the moment she met me in the reception area, her interruption of my brief answers to her questions, and her literal unwillingness to explain the company or the job to me when I had questions about them (yes, it IS an interviewee's responsibility to have some knowledge of these things going in, but it's also important to ask for an interviewer's perspective on the role and company during the interview process).
She abruptly ended the interview as she didn't like my answers, probably because I was in such discomfort and shock that she was so damn rude. I still remember the lady's name to this day, over two years later, that's how rude she was! I've never interviewed with anybody nearly so rude before or since.
Knowing that I wasn't gonna get the job anyway, I did a little bio search on her. Well, the company she worked for (and that I'd have worked for, if hired) is based in Chicago. I'd have been based in LA/OC, but, she would have been my boss. She was based in none other than...SAN DIEGO! Yep! Her office and the team she managed were based in SD.
I proceeded to email the corporate office in Chicago and complain about her unprofessionalism. The corporate office called back, and I didn't bother to call back because I was over it. The temp gigs I worked in the weeks after that interview, before moving up to NorCal, I actually kinda enjoyed. It was more than the the job, it was the people!
Some of y'all might not believe that I had such bad luck happen to me in SD, or involving San Diegans, in such a short time span. But, I'm not lying. My account is 100% true!
@NedFranLosTuck you are so unhappy! Glad you could get it all out here to empathetic ears. Time to get going and let it go. Felt real good when I did it.
Also, I've lived in all four corners of the US and have rented for over 30 years of my life and can attest that most landlords, everywhere, suck. They just do.
Good luck!
Also to add, I do hope this blogger keeps his post up forever so we all have a tiny spot on the web to call home for this subject! Thank you ryan the lion!
This is a great blog. It's validating to know that other people feel the same way. I had 5 arduous years in San Diego. I found it to be an American city completely devoid of community. Conversation was a diminishing return that became non-existent. HOWEVER...I WILL SAY THIS! It's good to see your country. It's good to know that California is what it is. I really thought SD was a gem. No one mentioned the grime or the homelessness. Even when I got there I gave a pass to the underwhelm of character of Pacific Beach, for instance. That was the first place I found myself.
You might find yourself finding that San Diego isn't all it's cracked up to be. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! And you are not crazy. There is a trick at play, a myth, a hustle. Just remember this...it's a big country and very different from place to place. Leaving San Diego might be the best thing you ever do. We all make mistakes. For me San Diego was an egregious error. It made sense at the time, but now that I'm out of there life is soooo much better.
Maeve Alleine - Well, I WAS unhappy! My experience in SD was nearly three years ago. I've obviously long since left the city. I am quite enjoying being in another part of the world, at least for the time being, and taking in different cultures. I haven't been this happy in years! California was well worth the experience (again, I actually quite like LA in particular, except the last job I had in that city), but there is such a vast country and world to experience that California isn't the end all and be all.
In other parts of the world, and even in less populated parts of the United States (e.g., Intermountain West, Southwest, Southeast, Alaska, even far northern California), life is much less frenetic, people are far more respectful of one another, and employers value work-life balance a little more.
The only reason I bothered to tell my story here was because San Diego was my "Murphy's Law city" in a way that no other city in the world has been. Sure, there's no perfect place, no perfect person, no perfect group of people, and utopia doesn't actually exist. Nevertheless, no one in real life would want to hear my story, let alone care or believe me--and, yes, the unhappiness of those memories came rushing back as I was typing. This blog is indeed helpful in not only helping people vent, but also in giving prospective residents "the other side" of SD other than the obvious surf and sun that the city is legendary for.
People and relationships are an extremely important factor, no matter where you live or no matter the weather.
In that regard, SD fails big time. For those reading this blog for the first time or having their awakening that SD is not cracked up to be what it claims to be, the issue is not you--it's the other people.
Don't let the shallow types who have no idea what the answer is to a question you asked them guilt you in thinking you are the dumb one because they nervously laugh when responding to you and then give you a blank stare--as if it were a silly question. Again, it's their wallflower, soft personality that prevents them from telling you they don't know the answer to your question--rather than saying they do not know they dance around and try and make it seem as though it was a stupid question in the first place because of their ignorance, not yours...I have many intelligent friends who live elsewhere and whose advice I often seek. I often get solid and useful responses from them. In SD, people will just smile at you and often not give you advice--let alone an intelligent response.
I used to have an acquaintance at the gym whom I would have small talk with. Everything focused on what I did. When I asked questions of him I would never get a straight answer. It was almost as though I was having a one way conversation and the moment I stopped talking, the conversation ended.
Remember--it's not you..it's THEM. If you value human interaction and quality relationships then you will struggle greatly in SD and it's time to move on.
Also, to set the record straight about SD being labeled as "America's Finest City", it did not get that title from others; rather it was a term then Mayor Pete Wilson coined after San Diego fucked up hosting the RNC during the 1972 Presidential campaign...the ignoranuses who live in SD often have no clue about this and think the entire rest of the country is heaping praise on their city when nothing could be further from the truth. This was simply a Public Relations stunt to cover up, yet another, fuck up by San Diego and San Diegans.
Comment from someone I argued with all the time..finally we agree on something:
"Like others have already said, don't go looking for NYC in SD because it doesn't exist. Instead, focus on outdoor yoga classes, urban hiking trails and trying to catch your first green flash. "
Sorry, none of that interests me whatsoever.
@ Roy Xxx
Lol, my dad moved to San Diego back in the 80's because it WASN'T like NYC, where he had grown up.
Love this blog. Agree completely with all observations. If time permits, I will list some of my own.
Okay, that worked.
I grew up in La Mesa, late 1960's to late 1980's.
It has all gone sideways. There was an abundance of things to do once upon a time.
Things to do that were cheap, and fun, and for families on a budget.
A capsule example-- walking distance from my house (near Lake Murray and the border of the Lake Streets in San Carlos)-- we had The House of Ice (ice skating)- now a hideous church, La Mesa Bowl-- became Coleman College, now nothing, The Cinema Grossmont- possibly the greatest movie theater in the County-- early 60's modern, 1,100 seats in soft green velvet, 70mm projection, comfort and convenience, and cheap.
There was the Family Fun Center on Fletcher Parkway -- once the greatest miniature golf complex on the West Coast, now a freeway off ramp. Gone. The Aquarius Roll-A-Rena near to Drew Ford. Gone. A&W Root Beer drive-in near Toys R Us, now gone.
Farrell's Ice Cream parlor near Grossmont Center- now a bland bank. Swenson's, a Dairy Queen, all gone. The Classic Cat (now the Hearth House) on Jackson near Fletcher Parkway, where they had scandalous live nude dancing once upon the 70's, Eucalyptus Park on Bancroft-- totally shaded and great-- drove by there recently and all the eucalyptus trees have been ripped out and replaced with some boring lawn and concrete seating. No shade. No Character.
The mighty Alvarado Drive-In overlooking Interstate 8 off of Baltimore and the beginning of El Cajon Blvd. Wiped out in 1980 to make way for the stupid Best shopping center. Still there, still useless.
This trend of removing character over time from La Mesa and San Diego has been ongoing for years. There is almost nothing left of what was. Open space and open land and no traffic and no pollution and a tiny Tijuana barely a blip on the radar.
San Diego in the 1970's was a paradise. That's why everybody moved there and then ruined it. Too many people now. Population in SD County 1980-- 800,000. In 1990, the census was taken again. Eight Hundred Thousand became 1.4 Million. After that, it was runaway extinction.
It did have a kind of small town, private vibe about it. It was a great place to grow up, back then. Back then.
I'm with C. Nelson. Based on my conversations with what few longtime locals I met while living in SD, I think I'd have actually enjoyed living in SD pre-circa 1990 (I alluded to this in one of my prior posts in November 2017, without saying it explicitly). I'd probably have been as happy as a clam growing up in Escondido or La Mesa or Chula Vista circa, say, 1986. (I'd probably have been as happy as a clam growing up in almost any non-ghetto/non-gang part, anywhere in California, circa 1986.) The laid-back vibe of San Diego probably went out the door with the George H.W. Bush administration.
It seems to me that the period of about 1988-1996 was the modern cultural "turning point" for California. One deadly earthquake during the SF-Oakland World Series game in the Bay Area, one deadly earthquake in L.A. on MLK Day, Rodney King fiasco, O.J. Simpson's brutality and arrogance, insane racial tensions, L.A. Riots (and their ramifications were felt even in SF and Oakland), incredibly high crime rates in ghetto neighborhoods (South L.A.'s murder rate then rivaled Caracas' contemporary murder rate), loss of the aerospace industry, and California's realization that its demographic and political shifts were beginning to happen at a breakneck pace... Those may have been the six or so most volatile years in the 20th century in California itself, and they were certainly the most volatile years since the also-culturally defining period 1965-1975 (Free Speech Movement, Reagan to Brown as governor, Nixon, Vietnam, Watergate, Sylmar earthquake, high crime, Charles Manson, other serious serial killers rampant, increased cursing and innuendos suddenly in entertainment, beginnings of high unemployment and high inflation, gasoline rations). San Diego obviously wasn't immune from these changes and effects, and it has the added difference of being a serious magnet for muscle bros and vapid airheads from the Midwest or South who want to "reinvent" themselves. L.A. might attract more of these personalities in raw numbers, but S.D. has a denser concentration of them, proportionally.
Not sure what's funny..if your dad loves doing Beach yoga in leotards then he definitely made the right move to SD from NYC (or if he lived in the Bronx).
As many--including natives--have pointed out, SD has lost what appealed to them growing up while taking on the negatives of much large cities in recent years without offering ANY of the advantages of these larger cities.
NedFran:
Couldn't agree with you more...per capita, SD has the largest douche factor of any city I've lived in...it's as though SD--with a few coastal city exceptions along with RSF and Poway--is one giant Whittier meets Buena Park...a giant cesspool of tatted out, wallet chain, backwards ball cap bros and hos who think they are tough yet would be on their knees if they actually came across a "tough guy" from LA or any other actual metro city.
Good comments on here. It's interesting to know what it was like in SD back in the 70s. I was born in 78 and all through the 80s I had to listen to my step-mom talk about how great the 70s were and San Diego was part of her trip. She lived there in 79 and talked about the place like it was Shangri-fucking-La. Well...
I moved there in 2012 and stayed a month shy of 5 years. What I saw was not exactly that. What I saw were facile, unintelligent people who seemed to crystallize the ugly American. Every now and then you met someone of class and then "poof!" they were gone and you were back to mingling with zombies and addicts and homeless people. I noticed that you couldn't have an intelligent conversation with people without them getting insecure. You got the impression that they'd never read an entire book, but they seemed to know surface information about a lot of things (designed to show how smart they were).
It's a land of tortured souls now. As I look back on my 5 year campaign of struggle out there I can scarcely remember anything good about it except for pretty flowers and middle eastern markets. Someone said something about SD lacking the benefits of a big city and I agree with that.
The final summations are this: shit hole, latrine, sewer, ocean of concrete, ugly, stinking.
The country is devolving and nowhere is it more evident than SD. I'm sorry to say that it (without being completely at fault) is a failed experiment.
Oh, and if someone can find a reason that North Park is 'cool' or worth a shit in any way, shape or form, please let me know. I failed to see the big deal. Unless there's something inadvertently hip about bums with dogs and shopping carts on 30th and University. If you're into that I guess it's pretty cool.
If you think about it, SD is the southwest corner, geographically, of the entire lower 48 states. A cul-de-sac. North is Orange County and L.A. (Unmentionable to SD locals), to the west is the vast Pacific Ocean (quite the barrier), to the south Mexico (comment not needed), and finally, to the east is the Anza-Borrego Desert. San Diego is quite penned-in. That affects things.
San Diego has always been a little strange. It's broken up into little regions, neighborhoods, each with their own competitive ideologies. It's snobby and anti-intellectual. Macho and insecure. The perpetual wannabe. Living in the shadow of LA; both wary of it, and envious. Good reason flip-flops are popular.
I've visited many times since moving away (family still there), and while they are adjusted to it; comfortable-- my perspective (having just been a tourist-observer for the past 30 years, more or less) I have a hard time coming to grips with how much its changed. Everywhere has changed, though-- San Diego is no different. The traffic and crowding of ALL of Southern California has steadily increased. The self-same corporate eateries, drive-thru Starbucks, Regal Cinema chains, depressing office blocks and shopping centers with arches and points, crap stucco facades, spray painted gray on wood. It's what comes with overpopulation, sadly.
That being said, the goon mentality has Always Been There. Even in the long gone good old days, the shirtless bullies were ever-present. Maybe it was the heat. Boredom. It was always a party town. Fiesta island, Mission Beach, the bars, cars, and sunshine. Baja Bugs. Lifted Toyota 4 x 4 pickups. Camaros.
And I agree, hard to make friends-- everybody sizing you up, trying to compare themselves, this weird, nit-picky competition that just silently goes on-- makes no sense.
But hey, I don't have the negative experiences there that many of you have conveyed.
It was nice for me, growing up there. It was the when. When it was nice, not-crowded, more homogeneous, more middle-class. Things were free and loose and open-ended. There was still a lot of road left.
San Diego is lame for one simple reason, the people. It's not personal, it's just an observation. I've traveled all over the U.S. and lived in several states and people there are very impersonal and quite superficial. To be fair, I think you find similar dynamics in many, if not most, big cities around the U.S. but San Diego suffers from the additional aspect of being in Southern California and so people feel privileged to live here and so there is no reason to be nice. Down to earth they are not. I knew many people who moved there from nice towns and over time they turned into jerks to fit in. Nice guys finish last. It's also a party city so they booze it up big time since there isn't that much to do. I find that many people who disagree with my opinions haven't gotten out much.
@Denise Antrim2001
That is the most refreshing, discerning assessment I've ever read about SD. I've been a lot of energy trying to figure out why it sucked so bad out there.
Yup, Denise....the people and their entitled, privileged, typical SoCal overinflated opinion of themselves and the city (never met so many people so proud of so little)...and once you find the weather overrated, as I did, there is absolutely zero reason to stay.
I just moved here a month ago and I can’t wait to leave. There’s no refuge from the elitism. I’m disgusted by pretty much everyone I see. This place is the worst place on earth and I hate pretty much every second of being here.
@ Jonathan Miller
I feel your pain and I'm sorry you feel that way. Your feelings are legitimate. It's a mystery, but the San Diegans are notoriously shitty. Hopefully you can relocate soon.
I’m really glad I found this blog post. I moved here from Philadelphia almost 9 years ago. Met my now husband here and after moving several times around the West Coast for work, we ended up back in SD. Every time we go out here on the town, especially if it’s not with friends, I almost have a mental breakdown. I’ve never dealt with such rude and inconsiderate people in my life. They walk right into you on the street, no common courtesy or manners...I never hear anyone say “excuse me” it’s like that’s a foreign phrase. I don’t think I’ve had a semi intelligent conversation with a stranger in 9 years. I used to meet people all the time back home and strangers talk to each other. That kind of basic comradery doesn’t exist here. I’m not the most outgoing or social person either but this place is just baffling. Plus it’s so expensive now, there’s no real justification to stay here. Yes, the weather is beautiful but I don’t even enjoy it anymore. Every time we travel to another city, especially back East, It’s so refreshing just to be around normal people again and we usually have the best time. My husband knows how bad I want to leave but we have a network in our industry, so that’s easier said then done...
Excellent points I noticed also.
If I walk on my right and the person coming towards me from the opposite direction walks on their right, we will never walk into one another...problem is, in SD I would always get schmucks walking on “their wrong side” and try and grab the one inch between me and a wall rather than moving their ass over—where it should be in the first place...it was as though I didn’t exist or they are oblivious. Yes, no common sense or common courtesy.
And the difference between East Coast and SD, there are safety nets back east....if you do something stupid, you will get corrected by your parents, friends, peers and/or strangers...in SD, people encourage one another to act more stupid than they already are—no safety nets exist.
I've lived in several cities, including Portland, Los Angeles, Santa Barbara, and Ventura, California. Between 2016 and 2018 I lived in San Diego with my family. It was the absolute worst experience of our lives. The people here are horrible. Because of them, living in San Diego is best described as a cross between the worst visions of Orwell and Lewis Carol; a 'through-the-looking-glass" experience where to do right is wrong and abhorrent behavior is not only coddled, but aggressively protected. It is this quality - where to "call someone out on their bullshit" as one commenter put it, instantly makes you a pariah, that allows for the lowest common denominator of humanity to dominate. You will never prevail in trying to make a case that good should prevail, because you are overwhelmed by the sheer number of people who don't have any moral compass. Over the course of those two long years, I witnessed a thirty-something man in a sports car almost mow down an elderly woman in a cross-walk as he sped through it at fifty-something miles per hour, then laugh about it when I confronted him. On another occasion, my wife was in a hurry as she made her way with a birthday cake and our ten-year-old daughter. A woman deliberately cut her off in the grocery line, then turned to her and said, "I beat you." The worst part of the experience was living among people who have not only an indifference, but a disdain, for decent behavior. Yes, San Diego sucks - because San Diegans suck.
Yup...SD sucks because of the classless and clueless people. You hit the nail on the head...when you realize even the weather is overrated, you’ve lost any reason to stay there.
Orginally from San Diego born and raised overrated and to expensive.
Its expensive
The mayor eats dung
Homeless everywhere
The people have no intelligence
Retired military a-holes
Taxes will kill you.
No control of the border.
People drive like they r on meth.
No arts/culture
Everybody is into the looks.
Im glad im moving out of this crap hole this autumn.
San diego sucks
People r idiots
This feed kept me sane during my time here in San Diego. I have to be honest, I read everyone’s posts, that’s how badly I was looking for some sort of corroboration on the fact that San Diego isn’t what it’s painted to be.
I know I won’t do it justice here because I’m bound to forget something but, here is the highlight of my experience:
Most people have no work ethic & no integrity
You will be living amongst a highly sensitive (and liberal) population - after living here I now know that there is such a thing as too liberal
Homeless people are everywhere (blame the weather, it’s easier to withstand the outdoors) and there are people who pretend to be homeless to get your dollar (ex. My husband and I were at a stop light, saw a kid arrive on his skateboard, with backpack and beats headphones. He stuffed his headphones into the backpack and pulled out a cardboard sign asking for money)
If you’re a fan of direct communication, be prepared to have the recipient cry/over react and retaliate as if you are in grade school (if you figure out the communication code I would strongly suggest sharing it with everyone, that’s a worthy piece of information)
Driving here is...I can’t find an appropriate word but, don’t use your blinker if you want to merge on a freeway. Even if there is ample space to merge, the person you would be getting in front of will speed up to make sure you can’t get in so they are first
The “me first” mentality gets old quick - the sense of entitlement is sickening
Well that’s whats at the top of my head! The California dream is dead, San Diego is polluted, stay away or you (like many of us) will most likely be sorry.
And, thank you to everyone for sharing! I’m glad you are out there!
I moved here from Seattle three years ago. I was tired of the constant rain, increasing prices, traffic, Amazon take over, etc..
My girlfriend got a job here so we thought we would give it a shot. It has been miserable. We have made zero friends. I still haven't gotten a decent job. The weather this year is just as gloomy and rainy as Seattle. I don't get what the point is anymore. Moving here was the worst decision of my life and I am in my 40s. Most of the comments here are true. The people are bizarre, it's impossible to get a job, everyone thinks they are so great, the food is pathetic, drivers are terrible, and the weather is insanely overrated. I went back for a visit to Seattle a couple months ago and I actually cried when we landed. I felt like I was home and could't believe I left.
A few positive things about it here.
1. Certain neighborhoods are getting better and trying to have a community. Normal Heights, South Park, North Park, etc.. I have always despised any of the beach communities like PB.
2. We just spent the weekend in Joshua Tree. An amazing place only 2.5 hours away.
3. Mexico and the Valle de Guadalupe is really great and so happy to have it so close.
4. LA is a short drive if you need some culture and better food.
5. When it does get warm it is really great to visit all the beaches. There are some really beautiful places.
6. Good camping and hiking all around.
That's about all I got. I can't wait to leave. Don't know where I will end up next, but in three years I have had enough. Get me out of here!
San Diego is a strange place. It lives in the big shadow of L.A., with an L.A.-sized inferiority complex. It's overpriced, boring, lacking in true big-city culture, non-existent professional sports (the pathetic pAAAdres don't count), horrible local TV, and an obnoxious sense of itself based on nothing.
Born, raised, and still live in the L.A. area, I've been to San Diego far too many times. Had family that lived there and I nearly made, what would have been disastrous, a move there 25 years ago (to be near said family). I'm glad it didn't work out. Made frequent visits to the city and encountered the same blandness and fakeness brought up in these comments. The food in San Diego is awful. Not one restaurant there compares to what you'll find in Greater L.A.
It's a city that is big in population and ego, but void of substance with everything else. The fact that the entire "metro" area of San Diego is just the count itself, says a lot. There's so much more to do in the large L.A. area that San Diego simply cannot compete with.
L.A. is far from perfect and has its problems (big ones). Smog (much less than what it was 30 years ago), mind-numbing traffic, outrageous cost of living, and civic issues are a sad reality, but suburban cities and the greater metro area have so much to offer. You can live in the suburbs and not encounter the narcissistic nonsense from "Hollywood", but get all the benefits of living in a high-profile and world-renown area, something San Diego will never be. SD's cost of living is very similar to L.A. It's hideously expensive in CA to begin with (unless you live in the some desert areas or the San Joaquin Valley).
There's no centeredness in San Diego. Too many transplants and not enough cohesiveness. SD was marginally better in the 70s and 80s, but is a far cry from those days now. SD is NOT America's finest city by any means. It's not even close. So go fuck yourself, San Diego! Good luck to those of you trying to leave and count yourself lucky for those that have escaped.
To Unknown, you speak with wisdom and eloquence. I'm glad to have your perspective since you're from LA. I also found it strange that San Diego didn't have good restaurants. It had one and that was Buona Forchetta in South Park. I went to SD to live in 2012, hoping to get some of the goodness that my stepmom spoke of from her experience there in 79-80. My expectations versus the reality I got left me bereft and bitterly confused. I keep coming back to this blog because I still don't know the words to describe what a shitty experiment it was out there. I moved to Texas and life is infinitely better here. People have manners and a sense of who they are. I am angry. I wanted San Diego to be "something", but overwhelmingly it was "something wrong".
I can't believe in almost 10 years. People still feel this way about SD. I can't agree anymore about how absurd it is. People , culture, education. What makes me upset mostly is how someone can easily ruin your life. I've had people messed up my family when they tried to succeed. I was never taken serious when I was bullied in HS. I came out with 0 friends. I can't stand San Diego but nobody talked about the southern part. El Cajon, Santee. Racist place really bad. Everytime I pass by I get bad memory flash backs ugh. And the jobs here are a joke. All about favoritism and lazy co-workers who can get away things. I'm leaving by 2020.
I came to blog after searching for other people who hate this place. I'm from LA. Family moved to Carlsbad abouy 9 years ago. I came here 3 years ago to temporarily live with family to get back on my feet and that sooo did not go as planned. I've been stuck down here for a little over 3 years and I've hated every minute of it. There are some nice things about some areas and the people can appear nicer but once you get passed , " hello," it's a royal shit show of nothingness. They say LA people suck... I have never met such lazy, ignorant fucks in the 30 years I grew up in LA, let alone any other place I've traveled. Everyone claims I'm resisting the change and adjustment to the pace, but no. I just really cant stand it her . This blog made me feel 1,000 times better because trying to talk to these people about moving back to LA makes you feel like you're escaping a cult. Beautiful weather, nice beaches, but never fucking again. I cant wait to learn and I hope it's by the of the year.
Thank you for this
Please send me this meetup!!! I have 0 friends here
They say the loudest one in the room is the weakest.
This quote describes the overall vibe of San Diego to a tee.
As others have stated above, the topography of the city is very nice, however the people are unbearable.
Classless, incapable of self-reflection, insecure, apathetic, mediocre, and complacent are just a few worlds to San Diegans.
Now I understand there are assholes everywhere. They’re abundant in cities like New York, LA, & Chicago. However these cities have a level of sophistication and culture that San Diego will never achieve. San Diego has nothing gon for it besides the weather and craft beer. So it’s strange to me why the people are so conceded and think so highly of themselves.
Only San Diegans believe that they’re city is “America’s Finest City”. Frankly other places don’t give a damn about this small navy town that mascarades as something much bigger than it is.
I would love to be able to enjoy this city, as some of my family loves here, but once you’ve experienced fine dining it’s hard to have someone shove French fries in your face and tell you how it’s the best thing you’ll ever eat.
And that’s the problem. San Diegans think that we’re all jealous of them because we aren’t impressed by the city. When actually, they’re own insecurities about how lame they’re city is comes off as aggressive bravado that reminds makes me think no one in this town really evolved past high school.
This is place is garbage and will never be a world-class city. It’s a cute beach town and that’s where it ends.
Humble yourself San Diego because deep down you know you ain’t shit and that’s where all the defensive and rude behavior comes from.
It’s ok to be average, but you’re not fooling anyone who’s lived in better cities where people are twice as accomplished and or classy, but have hard the attitude.
Keep hating Los Angeles, keep hating New York. Cause honestly we tend to hate things we know we’ll never be.
The women here are average with the attitudes of super models. The guys are mediocre but after enough steroids and tattoos they’ve been able to convince themselves that they’re hot shit.
Confidence whispers. Insecurity shouts from the hilltops.
Quiet down Bland Diego. You’ll get a lot more respect if you look yourself in the mirror and recognize how replaceable you really are.
I'm the same one who wrote about the racism in the southern region. I absolutely agree with you. These people make me sick. They're grown adults who act like a 10 year olds and my younger relatives act more mature than them. Something is wrong with these idiots I swear. They honk their car loud for attention, they continuously sneer behind your back. And forget friendships, if you're not like them, they will bully you. San Diego is like a big High School with too many cliques. I don't fit in nowhere. I have my sights on Texas. Hopefully with enough money I can escape this disgrace.
Unknown: Texas is much better in terms of human decency.
@Unknown: Hopefully, you move soon. I'll be moving next month.
Ryan Gerard: My family grew up there but moved due to military. So they landed here in San Diego. Like I tried San Diego, my family loves it here. I dont see the appeal of it. But its because of the "perfect weather". People come up to me and tell me that this place is a "paradise". Excuse me?? I've traveled around the U.S. enough to know there are places way better than this so called "paradise". Not every state is perfect but at least they don't try to be something they're not.
Greg Roman: I'm trying my best. Hopefully soon. I just can't take another day here.
@Unknown: I hear you
Love this blog. So accurate in so many ways.
After finding this blog post and the readers comments I feel like I'm not a maniac who's lost his mind for leaving San Diego behind.
I have left San Diego multiple times and was brought back against my better judgement as my parents live in San Diego. I moved to and lived in Houston, Dallas, and now Las Vegas. Prior to moving to San Diego I lived in Los Angeles and Seattle.
However, I did live in San Diego throughout high school, junior college, and the majority of my 20's. Still, I never identified with San Diego. I guess it is difficult to connect with a place that lacks any real culture.
It baffles me how different people are in Texas. There is a level of respect and such a welcoming attitude in Texas.
Having lived in San Diego on and off for over 15 years, I have found what people claim San Diego to be, and the reality have no correlation. If you are looking for a town to retire and settle down in your older age I would definitely recommend San Diego.
For others who are looking for growth and a place that does not have an extremely complacent and apathetic atmosphere I would suggest visiting for a short period of time and going home after.
Nobody goes to Disneyland, thinks it's so amazing and decides to live there. To me, San Diego is no different. I have made my peace with the city that I have spent over 15 years in. I'll be leaving the country before I ever move back to San Diego.
I am here to join the chorus. And I am, THE latest.
So, its 2021 and though I came here in 2016, and all of your posts seem to end at about that time, it seems that our experiences are quantumly entangled.
Every single other place that I've been to and lived in on this planet has come with some pretty amazing stories-- even places with names like White Pidgeon, MI and Magnolia, AR. Every place, except for San Diego. Every day in every other place in the world seems like it moves and has color. SD is as dry and monotone as its miles of brown mountains. I made a joke with my bf that SD really means sucks d***.
Living here is like living inside of the Silent Hill movie: everything surrounding you looks like endless fog and picking up a phone to speak to a fellow SanDiegan is like a broken phone call in an area with choppy signal. Ha, kidding. People in San Diego dont call anyone. This analogy is probably the sharpest I've given so far because I'm always waking up and wondering if I've actually been in the 1st layer of hell the entire time and I'm just realizing it.
For the longest, I felt like I was reliving the loneliest day of high school- not an equal comparison- even those days had a pulse.
It is Covid-19 time, but the quarantine feeling really hasn't been any different. I hike, I wear leggings and puffy sweaters. I want to punch myself when I look at another girl and think, 'those butt implants or injections? wonder if she got them in TJ or La Jolla.' Or when I see a panting husky with an overzealous owner trekking a hot, dusty mountain.
Sometimes, I'll ride out to Del Mar to soothe my depression. I'll climb up to the top of Torrey Pines, look out at the ocean, perfectly crested between a sunflower forest and boulder cliff and think 'My life looks so pretty, like a Subaru commercial.' and still want to jump off the cliff to be dashed on the smooth rock valley below.
This is heavy depression.
And there is actual sun here. I mean, I'm from Chicago.
But like any other San Diego cuisine besides Mexican, this place is flavorless.
There is just no spice, no umph, no marrow in the bone. It's true that this is one of the only places in the world where you can probably surf, snowboard, and mountain bike in one day if you wanted to. Logically, the outdoor sports are so intense here because of the allowing weather and terrain. Emotionally, I think people are just trying to find creative ways to kill themselves to be separated from their SoCal coils.
The most interesting people here are the ones who do cocaine a lot. But, don't hang out with them unless you want some kind of VD.
I will conclude by excusing any native San Diegans or lovers of San Diego from my judgements. It's not you--its me.
San Diego is like Palm Beach, AZ. People come here to be comfortable. They come here to live the same day again and again because they either like life that much --- or hate real life that much. I digress, gottdamit i'm supposed to be being positive. You can't really be mad at a place with crime this low and this petty. A town with the cleanest most entitled bums you've ever seen and the laxest work environment that exists outside of a library in Appalachia, West Virgina ;) You can't be mad at the chiseled surfers and the mountain scalers, and the smiley faced dog walkers, and the waifey girls vying for the Miss Pretty- attention-seeking-victim award.
Yeah, this is not going to get better. I'd better just log off.
Dude your a little faggot you prob sucks dick every night. I hate sd too but your top 10 things you hate, well that list sounds like a fairy or faggot made it.
What about the fuckin cost of living or the fact that owning a nice crib is nearly impossible in this day and age....DUMBASS
@Unknown High real estate prices are commonplace everywhere. What this blog was intended to do was to describe the peculiarities of San Diego that were experienced by the author, characteristics of the county which rarely occur elsewhere.
so true i hate it in san deigo ive been here for 2 years they are garbage
I am so thankful I found this thread. My experience of moving from Illinois to SD has been about 70/30, 70% being negative experiences.
Aside from the dirt, grime, and trash that line the streets of this “city”, the lack of good food options, and the terrible customer service, what really makes this place SUCK are the people.
Like so many of you in this thread, I was super disappointed moving to SD.. expecting to meet all kinds of interesting people with different views and mindsets. I was dead wrong. Most San Diegans have such a provincial mindset it hurts.
The way the general populace doesn’t seem to mature past the age of 18; it’s COOL and COMMONPLACE to one up someone to see how petty or mean you can be. Moving here is like living in the Mean Girls movie. San Diegans are mentally I’ll and project their insecurities and problems onto everyone around them.
Don’t even get me started on workplace culture here. The amount of times I was bullied (yes, BULLIED) and degraded, simply because I’m from the Midwest. My coworkers would frequently gang up on me and try to make me feel bad for never being worthy to enter their “club” , or “vibe” or whatever. But you know what? I say fuck that. Im well traveled. I’ve been to every top 10 major city in the US, and speak 3 languages (lived in Brazil for a month) but the fact that I’m from the Midwest made me unworthy. Thankfully I was raised to fight back, and I gave these entitled, low/highkey evil people their shit right back to them. It’s common in workplaces here to have screaming matches and petty arguments take place between grown adults. I really wonder how so many of these half retarded people attain the positions they do (it’s because San diegans hate keep jobs in their precious little city)
I don’t know where I’m going with this, but after a full year of living here I can say the only thing I enjoyed were the nights out in hillcrest and the occasional trip to the beach, but anyone that’s traveled anywhere knows the LGBT scene in Chicago or other cities would put this suburban shit heap to shame. Fuck you San Diego and fuck your illiterate populace. Take your navy ships and peg yourselves you shallow , inconsistent, shady, inconsiderate fucks :) peace
Ingrid, it's more of a regional than only a San Diego characteristic. I used to think that it was only San Diego but I found that Las Vegas wasn't much different. And, a friend of mine who used to live in Oregon experienced the same type of treatment. Therefore, I've arrived at the conclusion that it's West Coast culture.
Someone once said something about racism. Recently, I've been thinking that during Reconstruction, after the Confederates lost the war, the South was economically devastated, and, so, the former slave masters of the Old South must have migrated somewhere to start over. The Confederacy consisted of states which wanted to secede from the Union. Nowadays, those state secessionist movements are out West such as the Northwest Territorial Imperative. Northern California, for example, has the Jefferson initiative. And, in 2016, the New California plan included San Diego. If people wonder why that even in a place like this that there is such sentiment, it's because the descendants of those Confederates and slave masters have been living out West since the time of Reconstruction. And, when I was in Las Vegas, I learned that UNLV's Rebel mascot was derived from their sympathy for the Confederacy.
For those who are Filipino and wonder why other Filipinos, here, treat their own disparagingly, it's because I'd say 90% of San Diego's Filipinos are of Visayan ethnic derivation, and they are another bunch who are not friendly, especially towards those who are of Northern Filipino descent. I'll spare you the history. And, if you want to add Northern Mexico's socially conservative characteristics, then you can understand why this place is the way it is. Compound that with social media culture.
San Diego apparently is going down the tubes according to the posts here. The reason is SD is no longer run by a conservative city government. Liberals are destroying the county as they do all of them along with Seattle and Portland. Liberals weren’t
Vet meant to run any government whatsoever. They got in by lying and corrupt practices.
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San Diego has a Napoleon Complex as far as other Big Cities go. If it would just be it’s lovely self and not try and compete with The Big Dogs, it would be ok. Why this would work? The City would attract more Talent, and be able to keep it, without the locals pushing them away.. The Padres need to do same, attract big market Players and keep Them.. People from Other Cities are not threats, We just want to be accepted..
Don't expect acceptance if you don't conform to what everybody else does. This place doesn't respect diversity. They have a certain way of life that they want to maintain and have no intention of changing, kind of like how the Deep South was. There is a reason why they were included in the New California Initiative when Donald Trump was elected.
Be wary of new developments or "trendy" areas, such as in HOA communities. Stay away from areas like those if you want to avoid the attitudes which people here have mentioned. Stick to where there is character and culture even if they seem "lower class." It's not a guarantee, either, though, because San Diego has that aloofness and insularity to it, no matter where you go. The least that you can do is minimize it as much as possible by profiling your locations.
One thing that I've spoken about before which not too many on this blog have mentioned is hyperconsciousness. It's been my experience, especially living in Chula Vista, that people are acutely aware when you're glancing at them or if they even think that you're glancing at them. Many times in the past, I would be minding my business and when I happen to be peering through my shutters someone from afar would be staring up at my window. I don't know what it is with people here and them acting like someone is always watching them. And, women here like to act as though they are unavailable. I believe that the word is 'frigid.' Not every guy is interested in "hooking up" or thinks that you are pretty. Part of the problem with that is perhaps because of the male Mexican culture which pampers its females. When I used to attend community college, almost always it was a Mexican guy who would hold open the door for every last female to the point of blocking the rest of the crowd behind him. I understand going out of your way for someone. But, this is more of like what they now call "simpery." Before it became a term, it's already been happening here.
It seems though the blog post is still going even after a decade. I was thinking of making a new blog post about our dislike against San Diego. I'm currently in school and I was the one who talked about moving to Texas and the racism that went on in the south region in SD. I'll do it when I have the time if anyone is interested.
@Mariah05 Count me in.
I posted here starting back in 2012! Finally, we moved to Seattle in 2014. It's now 2022 and I still love it here in Seattle. The very thought of ever living in Sand Diego again is laughable. Do yourself a favor, unless you are bedridden, you CAN get out. The first time we left we were broke. We left with a small U-haul. So if you really hate it, do something about it! Good luck :)
Finding this in 2024 and can confirm all of these points still apply plus SO much more! I finally feel validated as I could never find much on this topic. As someone who moved from the Southeast to San Diego in 2019, here are a few things I've noticed (buckle up - this is gonna be a long one!)
1. Although the cost of living is insanely high, the rental properties are comically bad. There are so many slumlords in San Diego that rent out sub-standard apartments that were built in the 50's (or older!) that have minimal to no renovations. I have literally seen a post on a rental site for a SHED that someone was renting with NO TOILET, no kitchen, NOTHING for $1000/month. Just an empty shack in their backyard. How is this LEGAL??? I currently live in a 2BR/1BA for $2200 a month (and that's a DEAL)! The electrical situation in this apartment is so sketchy that it cannot even handle a modern PC + air conditioner at the same time. The outlets often get arc flash burns from using laptop chargers etc. b/c they are so loose. Last summer, when the weather was 100+ deg, we could only run one portable AC in the whole apartment to stay cool and had to turn off all other electronic devices so that the breaker wouldn't trip. The city has had numerous power outages since I've lived here. I can't tell you how many times I had to toss and turn in the heat all night only to have to go to work the next morning. At one point, there were so many planned power outages every few weeks where we were living that I decided to rent a hotel for the night just to have AC and charge my phone. After living in multiple places in the Southeast, I was shocked when moving here. EVERY apartment there was required to have central AC - even the shittiest, cheapest apartments. And most of those had dishwashers too! But NOT in San Diego! Not only do you have no AC in most apartments, but you have no dishwasher, no lights in the living room, or outlets in the bathroom. That's a luxury here apparently lol.
I have toured MULTIPLE apartments in the mid-level price range and they are all like this in multiple neighborhoods throughout San Diego. I have discovered that if you want something nicer with all of those "amenities" (AC, outlets, lighting - ya know, basic necessities in any other state) you better expect to pay around $3k- $3.5k+ per month for a 2BR.
The land lords DO NOT CARE about their tenants. We had a plumbing issue once on Labor Day and the plumber they hired could not resolve the issue and got tired of working on the holiday. He notified the property manager that he had left a SEWAGE pipe open and that someone would be back the next day to close it up. Keep in mind, we live on a hill with neighbors at the bottom of the hill. The property manager was AWARE of this and texted us asking us not to flush our toilet or run any water all night. They were aware that there was raw sewage leaking down the hill all night right to the downstairs neighbors doorstep and they did nothing. Just appalling, inhumane things like this happen all the time in the rental space.
4.The people are soulless >> truly the most boring people I've ever met in my life, yet so judgmental. It seems like they value appearances above all else (clothes, car, status). I 100% agree about others comments on the clique vibes. They can be friendly but never invite you into their group or open up. Coming from the Southeast, I'm used to hospitality and people that value community. I'm used to rich culture and people that are honest, interesting, unique, and true to themselves. San Diegans are exactly the opposite. Although they can be kind and have good intentions, they just lack substance. It's like talking to a toaster sometimes. "Yes, I understand the weather is great - but do you have any other personality traits?" Having a philosophical conversation about the meaning of life is off the table but we can talk about craft beer and the Padres I guess?? It's so bizarre. Most people I've clicked with here are transplants from the East Coast, although there are a few cool natives that had great character and were good friends (they're just anomalies)! As my bf always says, most are as bland as the food. Which leads me to my next point...
5. The food scene is pretty bad. The Mexican food here is great and there are a few other hidden gems, but all in all, the food scene is overhyped and I have only found a few restaurants that were really good, although nothing to write home about. Everyone raves about the food scene, yet there are so many bad, overpriced restaurants with a 3 month wait list. It seems like San Diego restaurants are able to coast by on the sheer number of people living here, so many of them are pretty mid. We prefer to cook at home rather than risk the money since most restaurants are mid and incredibly expensive.
6. The weather is not sunny. For the majority of the 5 years I've lived here, I've experienced more "June Gloom" where the sky is always grey and cloudy like Portland.
I could go on and on but I'll stop it here. I'm looking to move back to the Southeast where I can find affordable housing, great food and culture, and get the soul fulfillment I've been lacking here in San Diego. It is a beautiful city, but I truly think the people & corporate greed are what spoil it. I think in the past, it was likely a really charming city, but somewhere along the way it went downhill. It's great for vacations & light hearted partying, just not for living.
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