My unhappiness being here in this city has increased.
There are times when i would rather be back in Kentucky than be here. i think the only thing that has kept me sane is that i've learned of a couple places that i really enjoy (and can now afford).
There are three things that I am going to add to the list of reasons I hate San Diego. I am doing this as a method of coping; yes, this city has set me into such depression that I need something to help me get by.
1) When I first started my new job, one of the first things that I loved about it was the fact that a couple of my coworkers read. Yes, you read correctly. I suddenly realized something I'd been missing when I said to one of them: "wow, I don't think I've had a single conversation with someone about books since I left Kentucky. Not one person in my graduate cohort has mentioned a book they were reading for fun." Nobody in my cohort (or at my job, for that matter) has heard of Bukowski. So this reason for hating San Diego is because reading is does not register on peoples' priority lists. Seattle, where I will move in September, is the most literate city in the country, has as a city landmark the central library (check out the pictures below), and has one of the highest-educated populations in the country. There is an alternative, San Diego.
2) I looked at locations advertised on a low-brow art web site (Juxtapoz) and found that Seattle has about 30. I looked and the Los Angeles area has probably 60. San Francisco has about 50. Just for curiosity, after I saw these numbers, I looked at San Diego. Three. Yes, three. As in the number 3. Honestly, as soon as I saw this I understood what I've been missing here. I've already been to all 3 of those galleries, and this is why I'm depressed here. My expectations were not met. At that point I turned my thoughts to my coworkers: is there anyone in my department-- nay, my company-- who I could converse with about art? No. I've tried: I tried striking up conversations about my trips to the Museum of Contemporary Art, I tried responding to their questions about contemporary art (I showed them Frank Stella and Yves Klein), and I've tried explaining the lack of art to them, and nobody understands or listens for very long. They (San Diegans) are simply not interested in art.
3) God, these weirdos. I'm sorry if you or someone you know are/is a San Diegan, but they are the weirdest people I've ever met! Blank stares, quick look-aways when you make eye contact, the "duuuuude" mentality, the eagerness to go surfing, the fright at the thought of walking a couple blocks, the satisfaction with chain stores, the desire to move out to the suburbs... so weird... Small minds. I've met full-grown native San Deigans who have been to Coronado two or three times. I've met full-grown native San Diegans who have never left the county and have no desire to whatsoever. One time when I remarked that I couldn't believe their lack of travel experience, they actually asked rhetorically, "why would I want to leave San Diego?".
4) Chain stores. I've never met a population so content with chain stores. I find that I am usually the one taking the San Diegans to locally-owned restaurants of which they've never heard. Actually, I'm usually the one educating San Diegans about their city in general. Not 'educating' in the condescending meaning of the word, but educating in the sense of exposing them to things they didn't know about this city: its history, culture, bars, restaurants, neighborhoods, and current events. But back to the point, this is chain-store country. Avoid anything north of the 8 (in particular Mission Valley), east of the 15 (except for City Heights's international areas), and south of J or K.
To a degree, "a city is what you make of it". But I moved here to go to progressive, quirky, environmentalist California (basically, as I understand it, north of Fresno). And I'm just so tired of living in places that I hate. I try with San Diego every day, and it just seems like this city doesn't allow it. The people who are comfortable here are people that were San Diegans before moving here- they love all these things I hate about it. And to those people, I wish them happiness and am glad they found a city they love.
For me, I think I'll move elsewhere and find happiness where it's not so elusive.
23 comments:
San Diego will be happy without you here.
I know that probably comes off as rude, but I have read both of your posts about San Diego, and you come off as an overly-judgemental snob. So what if there are some vapid people here...get to know people who aren't. Go out to gallery walks such as Ray @ Night. Go hang out at bars like Nunu's. Take a trip to O.B. every now & then.
You stereotype people here just because you see a lot of idiots. Of course there's idiots, but they exist no matter where you go. I've lived here all my 31 years of life, and don't fit any of the stereotypes you hold against this city. But I guess you'll never allow yourself to know people like me, because you're too busy lumping everyone into the same categories of surfers & chain-store shoppers.
Good riddance.
j: thanks for the comment. honestly. i'll never disapprove of healthy dissent. i'm always relieved when people can be honest and not shirk away from a good conversation.
while i enjoy being a provocateur, i don't enjoy coming across as an ass, and for that let me apologize to you and all future readers. i mentioned my education level just because i'm excited about reaching that goal, not because i think it makes me better than anyone. and i definitely don't want it to seem like i think i'm better than ANYONE just because i like art, literature, and the like.
i've been to all the places you mentioned, and more. I absolutely LOVE them too, along with places like Hamilton's, the new Halcyon Tea, the few museums we have here, etc., but as soon as i walk out the doors, i'm back in reality. maybe i am over-judgemental (on second thought, yeah, i probably am), but i have received the same from other San Diegans. immature as that may sound, i've tried, and haven't succeeded. oh well, i know i'll be happier somewhere else, and so i'll make all San Diego happier by leaving.
anyway,
Believe me, it is not you, it is this awful, awful place. I hate it here and have hated it since the day we moved here 3.5 years ago. And I am stuck here for at least another year and a half.
I've never hated a place more. Mission Valley is hell on earth. I haven't had a breath of fresh air in years.
Can we talk about the restaurants? SD is a terrible food city. Not just the unhealthy processed chain restaurants. But even the few independent joints are just uninspired and poor quality.
The neighborhoods -- probably the worst thing about SD. Most are like the Twilight Zone (Linda Vista, Bay Point, La Mesa, etc). But even the urban neighborhoods are pretty much a wasteland. A few TINY pockets are "okay" (mission hills, university heights, hillcrest) but definitely not worth the price. For the same price, you could be living in a stunning, culturally-packed and walkable neighborhood in the SF Bay area.
The person who suggested Nunu's and OB like these are some sort of oasis -- please! You'll be hard pressed to find a person with a brain in either. Nunu's is just a rundown old bar.
I've lived in three places before moving here --- loved them all -- and I hate it here. I'm instantly happy anytime I can get even 2 hours north of SD.
I recommend getting the hell out of here. Go to the Bay Area, LA, Portland, Seattle, Boulder, Flagstaff, New England, New York, Europe. There are MUCH better places to live.
(ps - I have no idea when I created this account or why my username is misspelled, but I can spell)
i came here when i was 19 with my 2 best friends from boston. i met a marine and got engaged in the 3 years ive been here. my friends left because they hated it. i hate it too, but me and my fiance cant leave until next summer. as soon as we can, we will be gladly leaving san diego. it is miserable, overpriced and just crappy. EVERYTHING is over rated. balboa park? please. ob? i lived there for 2 years. the 1st 5 months was fun/interesting. then it became gross and scary and horrible. i woke up to a naked person showering in my outdoor shower at 2 am in ob. i also saw a person pooping on the sidewalk in ob. and ive seen people shooting heroin in an alley in ob. thats scary and awful. the freakin "world famous scripps aquarium"!? what the hell! worst excuse for an aquarium ive ever seen. the food out here is a joke. the people think they are the sh*t. san diego needs help. its really sad. its always rated so high on peoples lists of awesome us cities. that is until they come here....
Oh my goodness. I just discovered your blog...i think we are twins. haha finally some one else with common sense.
I live in san diego, and have been for the past 9 years...atleast u only had ur masters to do here. I went to middle/hs/and I currently am finishing my last year at sdsu.
I recently studied abroad and was away for 5 months and had the time of my life/ met so many chill people so i forgot about san diego and why i hated it so much.
Now im back to sd...i flew in 26 days ago and its slowly starting to sink in that im back. I have this feeling i cant explain like "fuck dude im back here". Then i realized after reading ur blog...whenever i would vent about why this city sucks my mom used to disagree with me and say "wherever u go there u are" but honestly i think the place and the people make the city.
Alot of people here are airheads and they lack culture. Dont get me wrong the scenery/weather is beautiful and if ur a beach kinda person then good for u. But im not. Im a very artsy/ cultured girl....i like going to live concerts.
The only thing i enjoy here is going to hillcrest landmark cinemas to watch independent movies, or search for thai places to eat at (theres a shit load).
Im really outgoing and easy to get along with but i feel like i dont click with people here.... I live in the suburbs right now(east county) which sucks even more because you know the kinda ppl here are lifted truck/ river rats and theres a shitload of chain stores like you mentioned before. But i graduate this may and im counting days/hours/mins/ till i can effing move my ass out of here. I hope u have fun in washington! cheers ;-)
p.s soo glad i found ur blog. Now i know im not the only one who thinks this of sd.
Hang out with me....ha....You are not a "rude or overly-judgmental snob"..you are the opposite. Im from Ohio and I hate it here. You are probably just old fashioned and smart. This place suck. The people are materialistic and the "perfect" weather is a little too perfect if you ask me.
I feel the same way. I'm from So Cal (Pasadena) and my brother moved to SD for college. I've always felt it was vapid. It's boat shoes and t-shirts. Shorts and flip-flops.
At least the L.A., while not ideal, has art and pockets of culture. You can find it if you look for it. But SD just feels so bland.
It's good to have a place to discuss this because most people don't get why you would hate such a "paradise" as SD.
And it's good to hear that just going 2 hours north of SD helps. It's rare to read about people preferring the L.A. area.
Let's plan our escape...I didn't think anyone could hate SD more than I do...until now.
And to those who want us to leave...well, we're working on it. Believe me, we're working on it. Let's see YOU San Diegans make it out there in the real world, duuuuuuuude.
Sad to say I am a San Diego native and I HATE it here! I tried to move to New York twice and failed (could not land a job). I reluctantly returned to awful SD because I have support here, friends and family. I was so glad to find this blog and see my exact sentiments about this place reflected back at me. When I told people I was moving to NY I often got the “What does NY have that SD doesn’t have?” or “But the weather is so nice here” or “but it is so expensive to live there” answers. People are clueless. One thing I think should be added to the list is that the pay in SD is really low compared to the cost of living. I am an educated professional and jobs in my field pay 20K more per year in any other major city. So, yes, non-traveling San Diegans, it may cost more to live somewhere else but the jobs pay more, way more. I could go on and on about why San Diego is so awful but I think the list and what everyone else says sums it up. No culture, ignorance and complacency abound.
I understand your points about the city. But I did move here from some place else, some place with even less culture. At least there are indie bookstores I can go to here, art galleries, people I know play in interesting bands (you just have to hunt for them) and things to do.
I do get that a lot of the people here are vapid. I've had very few conversations about books and culture, other than "pop culture" and it gets depressing. I've been told I'm a "know-it-all" when I also want to talk about history, geography or mythology. That's really hurts. Of course, I like to wear dark colors and boots vs. shorts and flip-flops, but my boyfriend is like me and he's local. So it isn't everyone, just a lot of the people here. I would point out it is the subcultural people here too, not just the beach culture crowd. I've seen a lot of idiotic drama happen in subcultural groups that never happened back home.
Do you want to hang out with us? I mean, I make friends and then they move out of the area...probably for the reasons you mentioned. I tend to spend a lot of my time reading, drawing and writing because I don't want to sit around "hanging out" drinking or whatever. It just isn't me.
I do live in a good walking neighborhood with a lot of local stores and galleries. I think I got lucky since many other areas don't have anything to other. But there are a lot of local festivals here. Like I said before, I've come very a small town, so a city, no matter where it is offers me things to do that I couldn't do back home (but even with nothing to do I made my own fun playing music, writing poems, taking photos, art, etc). I miss having woods in my backyard, it is hard to find places to cultivate solitude and the weather is way too hot and sunny for me since I have fair skin and don't tan. I sometimes can only be outside for 10 minutes without sunscreen before I start burning. That is saddening to me, because I like to go outside and did when I lived other places.
You should really contact everyone on this list and make a group...you'll have about a dozen people who want to talk about art, music, etc, on an intellectual level. I probably should do it if you don't.
There are places to go and nice indie shops here, you just need to know where to go and I like noise and free jazz sort of bands and they exist here, they only get 20 people at their shows though. They do exist though, which is more than I can say about my small town I was born and raised in. My main problem with San Diego is the hot sunny weather since it makes me unable to go outside during the day and I feel vampiric!
Thank you for posting this blog. I was starting to wonder if I was the only one that hates San Diego this much! The people here are just so ignorant and vain... AND THEY'RE PROUD OF IT! I mean, there are ignorant people everywhere. But everywhere else there seems to be intelligent people peppered in here and there. In San Diego, it's like a 24/7 pot fest, and all I have is a fork. Don't get me wrong, I've made friends here, but whenever I try to talk about the outside world, books, art, or science, they always cut me off. They seem to think I'm trying to "act" smart, when I'm just trying to make conversation. Being here makes me think, "maybe this is why Einstein endorsed that bomb..." joking of course. But when you want to talk about the outside world, they look at you like you're the freak for even acknowledging that there is a world out side of San Diego! It's absurd! I've been to many, many countries and places all over the world, and I can honestly say I would rather live in a dirt poor 3'rd world country like Nepal or Morocco, than spend another day here... San Diego sucks!
I'm jealous of you, you get to leave <.<...
P.s. J, you've lived here all 31 years of you're life..? Feel free to take offense, but you have no idea what you're talking about. Literally... Live somewhere else for a year, then come back to San Diego. You'll feel like you're IQ went up 50 points.
I'm 45. Except for 3 years in Tucson, I've lived in San Diego since 1969. If its detractors were placed at 10 on a continuum and its cheerleaders at 0, the truth would be about 7.5. I could stay here my entire life and exist, but I could not truly live. The only thing keeping my wife and I here was her mother, who has since passed on, and my teaching job at a great school. I will be earning my admin credential in the next two and a half years, and I plan to find a job in the Seattle area immediately afterwards.
SD sucks donkey balls... I'm glad to read others think the same way. I'm from Europe and after that I lived in NYC and LA, mostly. Recently, I had moved to SD for a job and was slowly (but surely) driven insane by insipid, provincial, ignorant and weird (in a bad, non-fun way) population...Yes, it took only one month to reach the break point! Stuck up, fake snobs, rich-wannabe "professionals" whose purpose in life is to keep up with Johnses, plastic pple, beach bum lice-infested idiots and druggies, brain dead surfers, provincial UC students who think they go to Stanford (omg), ETC, you name it! Each times I'd drive to LA to party I was jumping from joy in my car, I felt like dancing once I'd enter Lake Elsinore where I'd stop to get gas. And mind you Elsinore ain't no LA. Honestly, I hated SF Bay are as well, where I lived for 3 years... it was too boring, snobbish and provincial for me, I guess having grown up in 17-million metro, I can only tolerate LA (and may be NYC) in the US, everything else is suffocating me.
ps: I tried to rent a room close to work in Sorrento Valley and every 2nd person had asked me what's my nationality when I called about rentals... I'm an American of 13 years, I mean, and nationality question is illegal when you rent housing. When the idiots were told I was an American, they'd say "But you have an accent!" F**** b***s, sorry lol. At work, I had to hear some "keeping up with Johnses" convos...and, again, nationality-based jokes (of course not about their *own* nationality). What a damn provincial rathole! I run after 1 month!
I own a business in San Diego; own property; and have money. Still, I am looking to move. Why? This town and the people who live here have no soul and no class. The natives are air-heads from being out in the sun too long and the transplants have brought their own brand of neurosis to the area. I am setting up to move within the year. I really hate it here.
I have owned a business for many years and have property in San Diego but can't stand living here anymore. Why? This town has no soul and the people who live here have no class. The natives are air-heads from being out in the sun too long and the transplants have brought their own brand of neurosis to the area. I am in the process of relocating and will never return.
Mark Dice's been exposing San Diegans in a few viral videos lately. Here's his latest about an imaginary nuclear war. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOquwb1B0Rs&feature=youtu.be
Another thing I don't like about San Diego is everyone is heat obsessed. I went to a local music festival at night and walked from my house and I had at least three people ask me, "Aren't you cold?" It happens any day I go out of the house in a tee and it's 65 or lower outside. It gets boring. I was born in the North so 65 degrees is warm to me. But the thing is, I wanted to see a band at the festival, but they were playing in the back of a restaurant patio outside and I was right under a heat lamp and it felt like my face was burning off. I do not get why people are that way here. I mean, my boyfriend is a native, and he wears closed toed shoes and does not bundle up like it is a blizzard outside when it is 65 degrees out.
I grew up in Kentucky. I was very, very glad to leave Kentucky. I was even more--heck, immensely--glad to leave San Diego. I've ranted and raved already in the OP's other SD post, so I won't opine here.
I like the South, but I love the West (just not SD). The great thing about the USA is, if you don't like one place to live, there are thousands of more places to choose from around the land (and even around the world for that matter, which can be easier said than done).
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